Tag
friends
link1
Sunita,
*Jun Rui,
Safary,
Sabrina,
Jesvin,
Khairul,
Wan Yi,
Kai Boon,
Ahmad,
Jek Yew,
Darius,
Kee Seng(Lex),
Shawn,
Gilbert,
Li Qin,
Arsenal(gunnerblog)!
recent
I love walking in the nightNear an open fieldNobod...
Life is really weirdI really want to give upBut th...
Its over
Yesterday was a okay school day,had stats tutorial...
Y r u avoiding me???? Afraid of me???? Shy???? Don...
Hanging by a moment
bored to damnation............i'm in a lesson now,...
The Keys to Your HeartYou are attracted to those w...
A new Beginning
past
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
credits
about me
Name: Noah
nickname: Crucifer
Age: 17
From: Singapore
Faves
Music-->Music with heavy rock influences
Books-->Lotr,harry potter,death note,Rave
Tv shows-->Comedies mostly
Game-->Warcraft 3(dota),Command and Conquer
Sport-->Soccer(midfielder)
Color-->Plain classic black
Horoscope-->Scorpio
Explanation
People keep on asking me what my blog address stands for. I have written in a previous entry what this blog address means but as it'll take a long time to locate it, I'll just give a brief explanation here.
Everyone has a dark side, everyone has a good side to them. No one is completely evil nor perfect. So I have characterised this 2 sides of my as crucifer being my dark side and ntljr as my good side. I can't explain how the name Crucifer came about,but its definitely not because of the superband band lucify. Crucifer was a nickname I had for myself for a long time before that. Ntljr basically stands for what every postive feeling, every postitive emotion and quality I have running through me. I have always looked towards "ntljr" as a source of inspiration, and no matter how down I am, I will cling on to that last bit of humanity and hope of "ntljr". This is hard to explain and I doubt anyone will understand as its a matter of emotions and feelings. What ntljr stands for is obvious to but a few, but suffice it to say that it'll always mean something to me. Always.
Monday, June 06, 2005
My oral communication is this wednesday and i'm totally not prepared.....okie,maybe i got 3/4 of the info i need but the other 1/4 is damn hard to find.......went to visit the bengawan solo head office out of desperation,tried calling their hotline,both also no god damn use la.......the hotline always say they transfer me to the correct personel then in the end nvr transfer,waste my handphone money calling them,then go there ask them,the auntie keep on saying "huh?" then ask me call the hotline......wa lao damn pissed man,what sort of stupid customer service is that??? Then the articles i try to find from internet,used the library internet,try the search engine from yahoo to google to msn to everything also i try.......but the result they produce can really make me dunno want to laugh or cry la......search for bengawan solo then can come out other ppl's blog la,music download la a lot of other shit,totally unrelated to bengawan solo,all my friends try to help me search also no use,all come out the same thing.....wa lao,stress ah........still only got 1 more day to settle all my affairs......haiz,suay la kena bengawan solo,if i get bread talk then shiok la,the lex got so much info he don't even know how to summarise........at least his "headache" is a nice headache,he can pick and choose....not like me,but what the hell la,tmr got Jean Yuan Class,got 3 hours to go slooooooowwwly search hahax.......but what scares me the most in this whole thing is my sudden lack of patience......i used to be a very VERY patient guy,almost never can u find me angry,depressed maybe but never angry,however nowadays i find myself getting angry easily but i try my best to keep it inside me and not show out,like for example,the auntie at bengawan solo keep on "huh" me,i almost want to shout at her,scold her,felt like taking the chair and thrash the whole place.....then on sunday when i was playing soccer,got angry with one of the players on my team who only know how to keep on talking trash and scolding people but play a cow like that,then had really violent thoughts rushing through my head........i dunno whats happening to me......i never used to be like this.......i must learn to keep my inner demons where they belong,deep inside me.......its midnight but i think i'll go down take a walk in the night now......i find it always relaxes me,in fact while i'm typing all of my experience i getting more and more angry so better cool down and think about my life.........what has happened in my life,what is happening and what will most probably happen.........actually i find life rather meaningless now,everything was and is so routine......i need something special,something to bring meaning to my life.......
By the way,i'm going to chase another girl........
She's from TP
Actually i'm just clutching at straws
I'm not taking this seriously
I'm just trying to find someone to take my mind off you
I'm desperate to love someone else
Hell,TP is so far from woodlands,but i'll make the trip there daily if i have to
I hope if i ever get another girl
I won't ever not cherish her
I won't make the same mistake
NEVER AGAIN :P
wings tear my body apart at [11:59 PM]