Its not over till I breathe my last gasp of air

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I just found out that for my TEP I have been posted to Marketing Service Centre(MSC), or to explain it simply, there's a high chance I'll be posted to one of the shops in the shopping arcade in NYP. Some have said that I have been posted to Cheers but others have claimed otherwise. Ok, whatever it is, the first 9 weeks is going to suck. Oh and the craziest thing is Wan Yi also go MSC, meaning that i'm going to be with her for at least another 9 weeks(another 9 weeks of being bullied and suaned etc. =O)! Good also, at least there's 1 friendly face I know with me. Hahaha, I know MANY guys would die to be in my position. HOWEVER, if she were to be in the same stopovers as me for the remaining time in TEP, I would really be speechless..............with horror =P. But seriously though, what are the odds.........and I wonder who else is in MSC.

Didn't have the best of days today. Slept really late last night, at around 6+am, talking on the phone with Vanessa. Not a really, erm.......pleasant phone conversation. Started out fine at first but got into some topics and questions which were uncomfortable for me to discuss and answer. Thus, of course she wasn't too happy with that and I somehow erm.......got a bit pissed off also. Wrong of me of course and truly sorry I am, but when its 6 in the morning and i'm so tired, its hard for me to keep my good humour. Yeah, well, I'll have to wait till this Thursday when she comes back from London before I can apologize as I doubt she'll call me anymore from now to then.

Ok, so anyway I woke up prematurely early at 10am, so didn't have the appetite to eat anything(neither did I have the mood). This lack of appetite continued all the way to the time when I went to play soccer. So basically, I was playing on an empty stomach. Felt real giddy halfway through the game but still forced myself to continue which only made it worse. And from then on till now, I have this nauseous feeling. I ate a light dinner and if anything, the presence of food in my stomach made me feel like puking even more. Couldn't join Shawn in his crapping and wasn't really that responsive either. Next time i guess I'll just force food down my throat if I have no appetite and I have soccer later in the day.

I took a walk at my favourite place last night, the night sky was barely lit with the stars. I needed to clear my head over something. Was really relaxing and the wind was just nice, blowing gently and there was no one around. I was alone and listening to my Mp3. The song "In the air tonight" by phill collins somehow was so eerily suitable to describe it all. The tune was soothing, with a kind of mystical quality about it and it was really excellent to listen to when walking there. However, at the end of it all I wasn't really able to clear my head.

Ok, enough of it all. Good night everybody.

Even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're like my candle in the window
On those cold dark windless nights

wings tear my body apart at [2:44 AM]

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What is the truth
What is reality
What can't be removed
Is that part of humanity
See death in those eyes
As the flame dies
Then suddenly arise
Lingering on forever.....