Thursday, February 22, 2007

This post is not one of my usual posts. It is meant for those who are either deeply confused or trying to hide their true sexual preferences. I have to say, as we move into a new day and age, it is no longer considered a bane to have same sex preferences. It is OK! Really! It doesn't matter if you're gay or not, but what matters is if you keep it within the confines of your own world and not let anybody know. Cause no matter how hard you can try, no matter how well you can act, your instinct will eventually take over and chinks will appear in your armor, and people will then begin to suspect that you're gay(when i mean gay, i mean it for both sexes). Suspicion will turn to fear, fear will turn to anger, anger will lead to unwanted behaviour from family and friends. It is no unacceptable to be gay. No indeed. There is nothing to be ashamed of. No one has the right to judge you for your choice. And no one with a right mind will. So kudos to those who have come up in the open about their choices, it shows great strength and character for them to let others know that they're different. To inspire anyone to finally expose their true sexual preferences instead of hiding it and making everyone suspect and thus be afraid of you. DO NOT forget the golden equation ->suspicion = fear = anger. And who knows, if you come up with the truth, you may find that the person you've been secretly eyeing actually has some feelings for you!

BUT! IF YOU ARE STRAIGHT, THEN ACT LIKE ONE! This poem is for those who are not gay but actually sissies.

A boy will become a man
It doesn't matter when
When boys behave like a gir
lLeaves our minds all in a swirl
It can happen so fast
It may just even last
In the night and in the day
Guys now act so damn gay

In the wonderful fairy tales
True men were brave and strong
In their missions they never failed
And the maidens singed them songs

Some "men" now flinch just at words
They cry at being the joke
But words can't do much fucking hurt
And neither can a little poke
So I hope all men stop being sissies
And don't behave like a missy!!!

In short be like me! LOL =D

wings tear my body apart at [11:22 PM]

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say

1 week 1 roadshow for the past 3 weeks. How sian is that? Well, at least we're finally done with the final roadshow, the valentine's day roadshow in which we were supposed to sell the stuff that we didn't manage to sell the previous roadshow. Was in charge of the CHEERS booth, total slacking there, to the point of boredom cause if there were no customers, then there would be absolutely nothing to do but sit and literally stare into space. Well, at least this time the sales of the biz focus products were better, much to my great surprise. For honestly speaking, their products are really hard to sell as the soft toys aren't that cute and only the flowers are not too bad. Nonetheless, hopefully this eases the pressure on Li Qin cause the biz focus supplier ain't a easy nut to handle. She's a very fussy prick, I believe. Anyway, applause for both team 2 and my team 3 for over the course of the 3 weeks and 3 roadshows, we all did f***ing well in my opinion.

Its time to put on our red underwear soon cause Chinese New Year is just around the corner. That's right, the CNY spirit is in our EMRS right now, and we have already started doing whatmost people do on CNY, and that is gamble. Unfortunately for me, I have never been lucky in gambling and this has already resulted in me losing $18. This amount, small though it may seem to some, is actually quite substantial when you consider that the stakes we play with are only $1, and I'm only playing with 3 other people(Shaun, Khong Chun and Jun Wen). So you can only imagine how unlucky I am to be able to lose $18 in around 45 minutes. Lol, well, maybe its for the best as 8 is considered lucky and by losing $18 then, maybe it is a sign that when CNY really gets underway, I'll be lucky and win back 18 more times what I lost.
Don't say that I'm talking rubbish
I'm just trying to console myself.

Well, its Valentine's day today. A time for love, and all the best to those who have dates and have plans. Do use protection unless, of course, you're trying for a baby. So in that lovey dovey spirit, I will copy and paste an article which I found rather interesting. Its actually old news, but when I first read it, it brought a smile to my face and as its suitable to the theme of love, well, what better time than now to share it.


"BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) -- After Thailand's most popular animal couple failed to mate, zoo officials are gearing up for plan B -- a DVD they hope will get Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui in the mood for love.

The pandas' first mating season -- a three-day window -- came last week. Despite a widely-publicized encounter between Chuang Chuang, a 6-year-old male, and 5-year-old Lin Hui, the mating apparently was unsuccessful.

Zoo administrator Prasertsak Puttrakul, who leads a team taking care of the pandas, noted they tend to live in isolation in the wild, and do not witness other pandas mating. "That's why they are bound to extinction should there be no help," he said.

Recent panda reproduction in the United States and Japan stemmed from artificial breeding, he said.
Because of that, Prasertsak has prepared a DVD of pandas having sexual intercourse to show the couple, hoping the demonstration -- call it panda porn* -- will inspire them to make a love connection."

*Shawn->brings a whole new meaning to PP eh? Wish PP to make PP with you?

Note: The pandas are not to be mistaken with a certain Melvin Ho Teng Fung, for it is rather insulting to the panda to be associated with such a enormous cunt like him =D lol. Also, they are not to be confused with Gilbert Wong, for though the panda may look like Gilbert, they have a "live and let live" attitude, never sulk nor do they get emo.

Ok, so thats about all I'm going to post for this post. Erm, the next few weeks are going to be incredibly slack for me in EMRS and CNY is going to be nothing special so I doubt I'll be posting anything up for awhile, unless of course, something major happens like if Mr Chan chokes on pineabble tarts and is hospitalized or if Gilbert finally goes for a sex change operation. And for those of you who want my tagboard up, well, I'm a lazy person and when I find the mood then i'll make an effort to put it back up. For now you'll just have to make do with this-->

Pushpam: Apa apa don't beat me!
Lord Murugam: Ashely worships me. He walks on coals for me.
Noah's friends: Knn, emo one more time I chop off your ....
Jen: Its not me who wrote that!
Ash: I get drunk and beat my wife senseless every night. APA APA! Where's my belt!?
Noah: cmy!
NT: ................

I promise, normal service will soon resume.........lol


We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay........

So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

wings tear my body apart at [7:52 PM]

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

I'm not going to make anymore excuses for myself. Its time for me to do something drastic with my extremely serene laid back relaxed attitude towards life. Time to stand up and if nothing else, bang my head against a wall(phrase used metaphorically). Maybe I'll fail in my endeavour, maybe not. It can't be explained what brought about this sudden change in my outlook of life. I think I've realised that I've got something to prove to someone. I'm not going to stand here and wait anymore. Screw those who give me f***. Everyone tolerance has a certain level. I appreciate those who assisted/supported me. I'll repay you in kind if you ever need it.

Bringing yourself towards uncertainty, every future step forward is another step leading to some conclusion. A grim conclusion looms, yet remember that no matter what, if all else fails, you know you can rely on me. I'll take you through any tough times you're experiencing, if only you'll let me. Just thought you should know..........what I say may seem unbelievable, given my cold and tough exterior behaviour towards you recently, but suffice it to say that I don't want the strong underlying feelings which I have tried so incredibly hard to suppress to reignite. If only you'll let me.......



I dare me to prove

I dare you to move........

wings tear my body apart at [1:56 AM]

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
Whatever's in my head won't go away
The radio is playing all the usual
And what's a wonderwall anyway

It's good to know that you are still smiling
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well


I went to the Singapore vs Thailand match on Wednesday this week. It was a large turnout for my group of friends, we had around 40-50 people and obviously with so many people, and all coming from different places, there were bound to be some who were late and some who were lost. Getting to the stadium itself was as costly as it was irksome. Each bus we waited for was packed to the max, so some of us decided to cab down to the stadium instead. Cool cab ride, the driver was friendly and talked a lot about soccer. But now on to the match, it was once again a scrappy affair, with both teams not having too many clear cut chances and not stringing too many passes(but thats what you get for asian football). The atmosphere was ok at first, the fans were not that active and the kallang wave failed miserably the first few times it tried to take off. However, all of this changed when a)Singapore scored the 1st goal and b) A penalty given to Singapore was taken by the Thai players as a ominous sign that the end was near, the devil was coming to this earth to claim it for his own where hail and brimstone would soon fall from the skies so they decided to stage a 15min protest about it. Thats when all our feathers were ruffled and the whole stadium bar the thai fans started angry chants over their cowardly and unprofessional behaviour. The loudest and longest and most synchronised chant was where the whole stadium erupted into a steady chant of "F*** You". Well, I was naturally pissed off as well. A soccer fanatic, I have not seen anyone launch a protest over such a trivial matter as a dubious penalty. Protests over crowd trouble, yes. Protests over weather, yes. A SINGLE wrong decision against them and they start to throw a tantrum, UNACCEPTABLE. I shouted till I was almost 0ut of voice, such was my disgust for their antics. Its a total disgrace, to not only their country but to the sport itself, and anyone who condones it ought to have their heads checked for lice in the brain(especially that a**hole cunt of a "Singaporean" who thought it was a remarkable show of unity by the thais to walk off and that the Singapore PLAYERS and FANS were, you're not going to believe this, UNPROFESSIONAL & DISGRACEFUL-->see new paper thurs). Well, enough of this topic.

EMRS is ok. The mini roadshow was, slightly boring. Selling Teddy Thotz items are hard, especially when their items are gifts items, meaning its a want, not a need. Still, we managed, somehow to sell $200 over worth of goods in 2 days so well, good job to everyone involved. Next week will be the CNY and Valentine's day roadshow. Alex and I are in charge of the Ripples suppliers. So far, Ameline Soh seems not to trust us that much yet to handle new suppliers and is spoon feeding both of us by calling the supplier and arranging the terms with that Brent guy. Maybe she thinks there's not enough time for us newbies to handle it so she decides to take things into her own hands. Well, its true isn't it. 1 week is hardly enough time for a raw batch of EMRS students to source for suppliers. In fact it barely is enough time for students to settle the finer details of the events, eg the floorplan, the A&P, the stocks etc. Well, anyway, do come and buy something from our roadshow, we have a sales target of 5k over the course of 2 days so it ain't going to be easy.

And Now......"A-hem"

For those of you who keep on playing with my Tagboard, I would like to tell you all it is not at all appreciated, and that you all can F*** off and mind your own business. Don't try to give me bad reputation, otherwise when people see they think i'm some kind of person whom I'm not. What if CMY sees her name up there? Won't that make any chances I have with her go down the drain? Huh? And using my dad's name, free one issit? Nah bei, go get you own tagboard la!

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Lol, ok for those of you who took what I wrote in that last paragraph seriously, you don't know me all that well. I am not so petty as to bother about what happens on that Tagboard. On the contrary, I am highly amused by whatever nonsensical shit you guys put up there. Its just that the paragraph up there was meant to demostrate the phrase of the month................-->"You've just been emo-ed"!!! Hahaha, has a nice ring to it right? How do you know if you've just been emo-ed? Well, there's no explanation how to know, you'll just know. Ok, I shall not write too much about this topic, or I might be emo-ed too.

Ok, will end here now. Its late and I'm yearning for sleep. Today was the team building games(either Li Qin is heavier than she looks or I'm weaker than I think though I am more inclined to the latter) and I played soccer after that so I'm quite tired.


A burned child dreadeth the fire..........

Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday
And whatever's in my head should go away
Still the radio keeps playing all the usual
And you're still wonderfull anyway.......

wings tear my body apart at [11:16 PM]

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Everytime that I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face gettin' clearer
The past is gone
It went by like dust to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

A short update.....my tep attachment at EMRS has started. Going through lecture after lecture about the different types of documents is not something and rules of EMRS can really bore me senseless. Sitting there in the lecture seats, I constantly fidget and can never stay still in my seat for more than 5 seconds. My mind too, always wanders off till it becomes almost like my natural instinct to stone away whenever I'm in the lecture. Well, tomorrow I'm going to slip off during the latter part of the day to work in the e-plaza installing some usb cable port or something like that. Think i'll be working with David and some other lab assistant =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Am hoping to earn and save enough to get myself a keyboard, to practice on. Having learnt basic organ when I was younger(but dropped it then due to a dislike for tests), I think with enough time and hardwork spent, I'll be able to pick up playing the keyboard without too much fuss.

Whether you like it or not, change is imminent in life. As much as you hope to keep things the same way, to never let a moment go, to never let your feelings change, to never let your beliefs be shaken........time has a way of playing with your mind, such that what you thought was true today may be lies tomorrow. Some changes in life are for the best, some changes you may not like. Some, you may have thought would never happen. But we are all human, we live by our circumstances, we are bound to conform to it, and only those who have exceptionally strong willpower and stubbornness will remain where they are. The moot point however, is if it is at all a bad thing to change according to our circumstances. Some may argue that only weak people allow themselves to change, but what if that change of heart, that change of feelings, that change of thoughts actually serve to improve your life? Would you still do it? Or stick to what you believed in, what you felt was, or even maybe what you still FEEL is right?

Food for thought...........or some of my nonsensical blabberings..........lol

Well anyway, looking foward to tomorrow, hopefully all goes well. HOPEFULLY.........=D LOLOLOLOLOL, damn excited...........

Oh and if either Jason, Daryl, Kee Seng, or Roy(some wild chance) is reading this, I've got 1 word for you.............RIIICOLAAAA!!! Rock out baby!




Half my love's in torn unwritten pages
Live and learn from fools and from sages
I know what nobody knows
Where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win

wings tear my body apart at [9:47 PM]

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Will he try at all,
If he moves on will he fall?


This current part has some rather foul language. For those of you against foul languages or for those of you balls licking shoe polishing **** sucking whores who support and like a certain supervisor of MSC, Mr CTC, then the next portion I suggest you might want to skip.

So I finally got back the results of my MSC stopover. A god-damned C. Seriously.......F*** that Mr. Cunt pek chee (___). Everyone else from BD got a B, while I only got a C and in his own words, "reluctant to put me D so a C". Nah Bei, act kind ah? Drop the bloody act la you low life chee koh pek. Discipline D, and ONLY discipline D while my summary report gets A, and the rest all B so how the hell does it end up a C??? HuH? trying to screw me over eh? And your biasedness against marketing students? What's up with that? You were bullied till you peed and pooped in your pants when you were 25yrs old by a 18yr old marketing student last time issit? Shows how much you know about the people under you such that you don't even know I'm not a marketing student but a retail student. Too arrogant to be a leader ah? Must be more humble? I don't delve into details ah? Not a positive attitude? Well screw you, you sad excuse for a a**hole licking eunuch. Trust me, one day you'll be looking to me for help and then you'll understand retribution in the truest sense of the word.

And I do feel sorry for Hwee Hua. She definitely did not deserve a C either. DEFINITELY NOT. There's something seriously wrong with this damned TEP system. The marking system especially.

There.....its all out.....

Its sad when information you have stored in your computer over the years is all suddenly wiped out with the click of a button. All my songs, my precious Family Guy videos, the pictures all gone. Everything. Why? Because my dear mum decided to go reformat the computer, without asking me if I wanted to make a backup of anything. I guess she thought that ever since I got my laptop I wouldn't ever need the desktop. I think the worst thing of all that got deleted has got the pictures. Songs and videos can always be gotten back, but pictures contain memories of the past. Well, I may feel the pinch of the deletion of photos now but maybe its for the best that I no longer have to reminisence about the past.....it won't come back no more.

For my classicals, MMD is done, Customer service is also done. Left with Business etiquette(which is tomorrow) and Project Management. Well, MMD took up a lot of my time and effort, everyday and night I'll be taking screenshots here and there,editing,editing,editing. Want to know what it feels like to put in so much effort and most of the time get nothing in return? You don't need to go chase a girl who doesn't like you, all you have to do is a MMD project using Image Composer. I'm not looking foward to doing project management though. Appears to be a very very boring project.

Anyway, if you, like me, thought that the worst weather Singapore has seen in years is over, well, it made a brief appearance again the past few days. Severely restricting everyone's mobility and this has made me extremely adverse to going out the past few days. Really, something is wrong with the weather. A Global warming warning. Lets stop wasting paper, using plastic, and burning stuff. Unless of course, the paper is to stuff down Mr CTC's throat, the plastic used to stuff his remains and the burning used to burn his lifeless corpse. Muahaha, evil..........

Anyway thats about all. Till next time...........

Well if it seems to be real, it's illusion
For every moment of truth, there's confusion in life
Love can be seen as the answer
But love makes you bleed like the dancer
And its goes on and on and on........its Heaven and Hell........

wings tear my body apart at [12:30 AM]

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Take the time to make some sense
of what you want to say
and cast your words away upon the waves

i'm not saying right is wrong
it's up to us to make
the best of all the things
that come our way..........

First up......Happy 2007 everyone!!! Ok maybe I am 5 days late in wishing but well, its the thought that counts.

Went to countdown the New Year with Shawn, Gilbert and Daryl at Singapore Expo. It was a clubbing event and at first to accomodate 17 year old Daryl, we went to the underage section but soon realised that section was as alive as Saddam. So we had to smuggle the underage "pedo" kid to the adults section where they actually serve you alcohol and the girls are more shameless. We looked over to the kids section occasionally and spotted this mother and daughter sitting down and just.......well, staring into space? Erm, I am one to spend time with the family, I have no qualms about going out with my mum or my dad but there are certain places where you won't ever bring your parents to and one of them is a clubbing event. But ok, enought about that. So how was my first time clubbing? Well, it was more fun than expected......maybe cause its like a new year event so everyone is extra high and the lively atmosphere kind of infected me. As expected with 4 guys around, while we were moving our bodies to the music, we(with the exception of Gilbert) were also looking out for the pretty girls around. And voila! I saw this cute, petite, wide eyed, sexy girl dancing with another girl friend of hers. Coincidentally she is from Shawn's secondary school and I only VERY recently found out her name is Goh Lihong......

AhHhHh,bUt fOuNd oUt sHe'S qUiTe aH LiAnX sO iF I dOn'T wAnT tO hAvE tO rEaD wOrDs LiKe tHiS I gOt tO fOrGeT iT nErRhx!

Anyway now my classicals are coming to an end soon and I think Mr Fuan is a damn good teacher to have. Teaches fast,effectively, efficiently and ends the lesson early........1 day early to be precise. Erm, MMD is interesting but why do they teach such a backdated software? Why not teach Flash or something more useful? I would have been very interested in knowing how to do flash but well, I guess Image Composer would do. Not quite sure how the classicals test will be like but will get down to it as soon as possible, seeing how the previous batch of students were quite stressed over it. I think business process will suck though. Its a bloody dry subject...........no interest at all in that subject.


Went to Seoul Garden just now with Kee Seng, Poon, Jensen, Shawn, Ben, Xiangyao, Gilbert and one of Jensen's friend. Was supposed to meet at4 but ended up all of us were late by 2 hours so had our dinner at 6. Quite a wide variety of food at the Taka outlet, ate our fill, played open number, did some crazy dares which culminated into us running away from the toilet to the carpark. Not going to say why though, just in case some furious person looking for vengence actually goes to google and tries searching for the key words "egg","throw","cubicle" and "hahahaha" to see who's the culprit.

Ok, I'm going to end here for now, its like 5:23 am in the morning and my eyelids weigh a ton. Once again, happy new year to all and best wishes for the coming year of 2007.
7 is my lucky/favourite number so hopefully this year will be extra wonderful for ME!!!=D

One last thought before I go--> Would you rather see the whole picture, or the components that make up a picture??? Think of it theoratically and not practically and you'll realise that you can't really choose....

Cause everything that's been has passed
The answer's in the looking glass
There's four and twenty million doors
On life's endless corridor
No space for more of love sandy shores.....

wings tear my body apart at [2:20 AM]

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Sunday, December 24, 2006

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But can I have some clarity
Come show me what you mean
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I am not in the best of moods these few days. Must be the weather......making everything seem so dull, so lifeless....making me feel so....melancholy. Ever get the feeling like you just don't see the reason for getting out of bed, don't see the reason for opening your eyes, don't see the reason for breathing, for doing anything at all actually. Even though there are people I have to meet, things I could be doing.......yet none of it appeals to me. I'm not depressed or anything, just feel that I have a certain lack of motivation or direction in my life. Hmmm..............

So ya, erm..........in a nutshell for the past 2 weeks, I've been going out, here and there, town, jurong east that side, etc. etc..........going out with various people.

And Stacy, enough is enough....I've been your supposed "lifeline" for too long and for too many times. I don't need to punish myself any longer. I have my own life to lead, and everytime I have to drop everything just to get you back home after a night of clubbing and drinking till you're drunk, I have to sacrifice some of my time just for you. You don't appreciate it, your dad don't appreciate it, and the only reason i'm always there when you need me is because I still am concerned for your well being. Please don't use what happened as an excuse, its over now and if you're going to continue this way, that will happen again, trust me. I moved on from that nightmare episode and you should too. I feel and understand your pain, take it too far however and there's a thin line which your going to cross one day. I don't know if you're reading this and frankly I don't care. I don't owe anything, ANYTHING at all to you. Its time all of this stopped. Get a proper life girl.......don't do it for me, do it for youself. If anything, try to show yourself some respect. Enough said......

But anyway its going to be christmas soon so MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! And no, I didn't buy presents for anyone. I'm BROKE!


I'll paint it on the walls
Am I the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends........

wings tear my body apart at [3:38 PM]

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

My hands are tied
My mind is blank
My body bruised
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

Its finally over!!! The much dreaded and supposedly toughest stopover for TEP has ended for me! Now its on to the classical then EMRS. My last week in Value Shop was spent mainly on cutting cardboard and decorating the shop with the Value Shop team for the Visual Merchandising competition. The objective for our shop was to actually try and create a cottage celebrating christmas feel. So for people who don't know what those rectangular cardboard slips are, they're actually BRICKS. I know some are unimpressed with the decoration but we work with what we have and so ya, thats the best we can come up with, using lousy scotchtape and having no coloring pencils. Had a real "fun" time trying to put up the decorations inside the shop too. Especially the one at the glass pane connecting Pretty Face to Value Shop. Anyway, the new batch of students for value shop seem uncomfortable at being unable to slack and having to stand up the whole day. Haha, I suffered the same problem when I had to suddenly be posted to Value Shop after all that time in BD. Lucky for me though, I had flexi leave to clear and I managed to MIA for most periods so it wasn't much of a problem for me. So, anyway all the best to the new batch of students for your time in Value Shop.

For those of you who were wondering about the match between my team and Wan Yi's boyfriend team, well, the final result is 4-3 in their favour. I really have to thank Sebastian cause he was the best player on the pitch. Without him, my team would have really suffered even more. It was a.........rough game, tough to play because of the physical nature of the opposition team. It was not really such a good game for us, we couldn't string 3 passes together, had to keep pumping the ball for sebastian and zainal to run for. But kudos overall to my whole team, we showed great spirit to the end, never gave up and even though we didn't attack that well, we defended as a team and managed to frustrate them for most of the time. Give us a bit more time and the team will be a force to be reckoned with. Thanks to Samuel for coming down to play goalkeeper for us too, you were excellent.

Andddddd....................HAPPY BIRTHDAY to both JR and POON!!! I know by now it'll be belated already but still I really wish you both had a happy and excellent birthday. By the way, I am sincerely and deeply sorry to Sean Poon for not wishing him on the day itself cause I'm not the kind that will remember birthdays unless there's a reminder on Friendster or something. If it is any consolation, I don't even remember the exact date of my parent's birthday, I am usually reminded of their birthdays by either my Mum(for my dad's birthday) or my Dad(for my Mum's birthday). So don't take it to heart that I forgot your birthday alrite man? Cheers! All the best in everthing you do man, from studies to gaming to matters of friendship, I wish you much success! Will treat you to lunch someday.
For JR, I really hope you like your present!

Going to end here now..........this week has been very tiring. Sleep late wake up early, running here and there........going to use the weekend to rest. Furthermore I have a soccer match tomorrow with my other team(with my dad and his colleagues).


Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got.......

wings tear my body apart at [10:13 AM]

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Thursday, November 30, 2006

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you


Its been a long time since I blogged. Hadn't really a lot of time to do so. Its like 1:30 am in the morning now so I'll keep this entry short.

My first TEP stopover is almost ending, only 1 more week or so to go. Unfortunately its ending on a not that good note. Apparently as I'm supposed to be in Unity but instead went to BD cause Unity hasn't opened yet, I have to go get some retail experience so now i'm attached for the 1 week to Value Shop. Just as I was planning to spend the last week of my BD stopover playing CounterStrike and sleeping.........I now have to stand up all day and say "hello welcome" and "thank you, see you again". Oh well, its just 1 week more to classical.........

Took flexi leave today. Went to watch the movie "happy feet" with a date. Erm......I wasn't really that impressed with the movie, in fact, I slept halfway through the movie and had to be embarassingly woken up by my date at the end of the movie. Hahaha, I guess I prefer watching movie with more serious/interesting storylines. Had a surprisingly good dinner at a Japanese restaurant with her though I can't really remember what the name of the restaurant is.

I'll be playing a soccer match against Wan Yi's boyfriend team at Marsiling Apartments. I'm not quite sure how the field is like nor how the opposition is like but we'll just go there and make do with what we have. Truth be told, I'm quite confident in my team and as long as we keep our discipline, we'll be able to come away with a good result. Don't know who Wan Yi will be rooting for, her boyfriend's team or the team with all her friends in it........... I wonder if Gilbert will come and give us support or not, it is after all proven that support from the stands can actually help the team on the field. Especially if the players on the field have something to prove to the supporters or if the players on the field feels inspired by their supporters. A-hem, anyone want to support us? Its 9am in the morning, so i guess that not many would be willing to wake up so early unless they live near there.......

Tomorrow is thursday............time to go e-plaza! hahahaha...........CMY!!!

Ok, will stop here for now.......

I want to run, I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside
I want to reach out and touch the flame
I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
I'm just a face with no name........

wings tear my body apart at [1:27 AM]

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now


The Arsenal vs Liverpool game will be starting soon, so I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Haven't been updating lately cause I have had no time.

TUESDAY
18 years ago I was born on this date, 7th November. Actually wanted to keep it low profile but somehow once I went to school, well, it just leaked out immediately.......cause Wan Yi celebrated it by buying me a brownie for me and well, from then on, everyone knew. Thanks too all who celebrated my birthday with me, my BD team, especially who made a special effort to make that day great. Really appreaciate it....a LOT! Thanks to Wan Yi also, and everyone who wished me too! Didn't take Flexi leave that day as I wanted to play soccer so took it the next day instead. Once again, thanks all!

WEDNESDAY
Took flexi so went out with my friend. Won't say who I went out with, cause well, rumours might spread........ though she didn't know that it was my birthday on tuesday, we still had a great time at Junction 8, so thanks to her for making my flexi worthwhile.

THURSDAY
Went to Khairul's house at Tampines as he invited us over for Hari Raya. By us, I mean Xiang yao, shawn, darius, ash gomez and 3 more of his current classmates over. His mum cooked for us and frankly speaking, it was quite superb. She cooked spagetthi with this sauce which was tasty and rather spicy. Haha, all the food was spicy, just the way I like it and just the way shawn can't take it. It was kind of fun seeing him struggle, but seriously, it was really spicy. Thanks for the invitation Khai, thanks to your mum for the delicious dinner and you better keep your younger sister well hidden from Xiang Yao!

FRIDAY
Great laughter, great fun, great slacking day for me. I mean it was the end of the week so was running around school. Met shawn, hanquan, desmon, melvin diu at the e-plaza. We all kind of went high there, they gave my number to this girl at the e-plaza, some friend of a friend of Melvin. Assholes! Hahaha, it was desmond who said she quite pretty but as they wanted to give me a birthday present, they gave her my number.......like what the hell right, that's like the best present ever...............for her!! So anyway, also went to the grassroots club where we put our name down for pool and while waiting, sat in the lounge and crapped alot there. Made a few calls here and there, to that girl's friend(aka melvin's friend) to try and get me to talk to that girl. Haha, played along but was kind of unsuccesful as they saw through it and knew that we were just rubbishing around. Then made another call to one of Melvin's classmate with Hanquan doing a great imitation of a China man's accent in practice but failed when it came to the crunch time. Hahaha damn fun la..........

SATURDAY
Nothing much this day. Just had a visit from my uncle who had a day out from the DRC. Ya....thats about it.....it was raining that day and there was a kind of lazy atmosphere around. Sorry that I couldn't attend the gig at east coast........it would have been fun but my uncle having a day out is very rare...........

SUNDAY
Had a soccer match in the morning. Ended 1-1, they scored first while I tapped in the equalizer. Quite a good result for us considering this was the first time our team played a real game together while the other team played matches every week on sunday at Serangoon JC, which is where the game was held. ONE factor which we didn't count was the heat, the sun was really blazing, it was really terrible. Had to be taken out after 20 minutes to go to the toilet and cool myself down. So when I went back in, I sprayed some icy cool water on me, wet my whole shirt and after that it wasn't that bad anymore. Overall wasn't too bad a game, I could and should have played better and shawn............you should learn how to play from players like Kolo Toure or John Terry, not Boumsong or Bramble..........hahaha....

And believe it or not, this whole blog entry took around 2hours to write. Cause basically I stopped halfway to watch the game and guess what......ARSENAL 3- 0 liverpool!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!! Ok, that about ends this entry.


I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the things meet
You know I can't change, I can't change
But I'm here in my mold
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold

wings tear my body apart at [11:38 PM]

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006

I hear, a voice say
Don't be so blind
It's telling me all these things, that you could actually be mine
You are, my one and only desire
You are the reason I breathe, but am I the reason you cry

So its been a relatively uneventful week in TEP after last week's events. The BD team relocated itself to the E-plaza at level 2 so as to have more computers to work with instead of the 2 kns computers in the BD room. Actually have been sick, sore throat, flu, fever.....nothing out of the ordinary. So today took urgent flexi leave from 1-6 to rest.

Yesterday went to J8 with my BD team for dinner at Pastamania. Kind of like a BD gathering cum sending off Cheng Pei, who's being attached to one of the outlets at Giordano. Ordered a pizza and shared with Khong Chun as well as ordering a combo A. Not that good ba their pizza. Added a lot of chesse to make it tastier. Took a lot of pictures and had to contend ourself with people who have no idea how to take pictures and end up taking videoes........of us smiling stupidly at the camera for 5-6 seconds. Hahaha, also took a lot of pictures at the playground in Junction 8. Took quite a lot of pictures but spent more time trying to decide on how to pose, where to pose, where to put the camera etc. Unknown to us, there was a security camera also watching us and in the end, we got chased rather rudely out of the playground by the security guard. All of us were rather pissed with the way he chased us out so it kind of was like a relatively bad end to a good day.

Okie, guess I'm going to stop here for now. Still not really fully recovered yet. Hoping to go out this Friday. Otherwise will be damn bored la.........hahaha,maybe its time to follow advise and ask girls out eh.......hahahaha, see how ba.......


I love you, you hurt me, I can’t get around you
I breathe you, can't you see, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
When will I be out of the door, when I'll be done with you?

I wrapped my love around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart?

wings tear my body apart at [11:01 PM]

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Thursday, October 26, 2006

I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later you're still on my mind

There's a whole lot of tension in my TEP room right now. And most unfortunately I'm a part of it all. I knew there would be what they call "politics" but I didn't expect it'll involve me or my group. Added to that, that chee ko pek Mr. Chan seems to be picking on me. Well, those who know me from secondary school days know that I don't back down when I'm being picked on unfairly. Try to be a asshole with me and I'll show you my f***ed up bastard side. Tomorrow seems to be a ripe date for a showdown with him, what with the very curt email he sent me---> "see me in my room. Now." over the latecoming attendance list. Man, i'm going to love taking this head on........somehow, I can't bring myself to "por" people. Not at all. No matter who that person is, I won't "por" him/her. So I guess Mr. Chan must be very disappointed with our BD group cause thats precisely what we don't do.........

I want to go have some fun
Tired of all these "politics"
Sick of thinking about how we got "backstabbed"
Lazy to plot any revenge.......

Anyway, went to town on Monday with Shawn, Hanquan, Desmond, Melvin, Gilbert. It was crazy man. Especially the antics of Hanquan and Shawn, who kept on disturbing Gilbert. Laughed like crazy, till my jaws ached. Melvin also laughed until he had a headache and felt like puking. Really crazy man. Watched Departed with them, kind of like a impromptu decision, but it was a nice movie nonetheless. The movie ended at 12:30 and so some of us ended up taking Night Rider while some took Taxi. I took NR2 back to woodlands, but not before stopping at a 7-11 store to buy A3 batteries and almost bought strawberry flavoured..................condoms. The 2 asses shawn and desmond went to put the condom on the counter while I was not looking and the Indian Cashier there asked me if I was really going to buy that, and he very nearly scanned the product in. I was still blur and thought he was referring to the battery so I said yes, but realise my mistake in time to stop the transaction from happening. Hahahaha, but anyway as Shawn said, had I bought that packet of Condoms, it would have been equally tarnishing for both their images. Think about it.........3 guys+late at night+strawberry condoms = .................... you fill in the blanks.

Thats all for now........

I wonder if the Death Note Movie is nice............


I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me..........

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you.......

wings tear my body apart at [12:27 AM]

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Monday, October 23, 2006

When you’re walking on your own
When you’re broken and alone
I'm always on your side
Even if I'm not in your life

Ahh......been watching Prison Break on my laptop. Just finished watching the whole of season 1 and damn it.......I can't wait for season 2 to come out. It is seriously a wonderful show, a real quality show. I'm not very patient with dramas or serials like Grey's anatomy or Desperate Housewives or channel 8 serial shows but this show is something different. Its a very dark show, not a lot of laughter and not a lot of romance. Not to say its totally devoid of these 2 elements.

For those of you who don't know about "prison break", its about how the protaganist of the show, Michael Scofield, a very successful structural engineer, purposely gets himself arrested and sent to Fox River Jail, just so that he can rescue his elder brother Lincoln Burrows, who has been sentenced to death for a crime Lincoln was framed for. Fox River is a top security jail, holding all the hardcore prisoners in there and security is top-notch so you wouldn't expect much results from Scofield's attempts at rescue. But the key here is that Michael is a genius, with an exceptionally high IQ and it was HE who DESIGNED Fox River prison. It is gripping to see how he copes with the brutality and rigours of prison life in 1 of the most notorious prisons in the USA. Corrupt cops, gang fights, riots, rape, murder......are all part of the prison. Outside those walls however, is a great conspiracy waiting to be uncovered. A conspiracy which leads to the highest levels of the US government and the conspiracy has got something to do with Lincoln and his being framed. Overall, this show makes for riveting viewing and I would highly recommend all to watch it. Be warned though, this show is in your face and some scenes may make you squeamish so viewer discretion is advised........if anyone is interested, get the whole of season 1 from Darius or from me. My rating for this show? 5 out of 5. Definitely.

Tomorrow TEP starts again, gotta start doing the Vivocity report. Bahh........I love to slack during TEP, but I guess its time to pull up my socks or the teachers will notice and give me bad grades. I mean, tongues are bound to wag if we don't start working our asses off. We ARE after all given "pay" in the form of grades and obviously we need to work very very hard. Even if we have nothing to do, we must make sure that we find something to do, so that Mr Chan will feel that the "money coming out from his pocket" will be well spent. Maybe if we finish our report early and have nothing to do, we can lick his boots for him? Polish his apple? Isn't that right? We MUST and I mean MUST do something even if we have nothing to do no? Thats what EVERYBODY in MSC, no, EVERYBODY in TEP must do right? No one should be slacking about even if they can, no one should be relaxing even if there's nothing for them to do. All must stay at their station, not go out until lunch time otherwise our "pay" will be cut cause then it'll be unfair to the "HARDWORKING" people who do work all the time. Aww damn...............I'm so remorseful, so ashamed of my behaviour over the past 3 weeks of TEP. Oh forgive me for my selfish acts of slacking around instead of finding some work to do. I regret my actions.........................

GOod, For Understanding how to ChecK if I am sincere, YOU DeseRve SwEet LoVES!--> I mean it.

That's about all for this post actually.


After all of these years
I'm still tryin' to shake this feeling
Doin' much better, they say that it just takes time
But deep in the night it's an endless fight
I can't get you out of my mind

wings tear my body apart at [1:25 AM]

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

What I'd give to run my finger through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I'm not perfect, I'm just a man

Its not been a good day for me today.

Came to school very late(slept late) for the first time in 3 weeks. Ok, not that late, only 40min late and usually you can be as late as 2hours and nobody will care but guess what, Ms Lee had to have a meeting at 9 today, meaning I wasn't able to attend the meeting. I just hope my TEP marks won't have dropped a grade.

Then played badminton with all of the BD team, again, chose the lousiest racquet unintentionally. I mean, 2 of the strings were not attached and it was very heavy for a badminton racquet. Obviously, I couldn't really swing the racquet without feeling a heavy strain on my arm. Especially when I'm hitting the shuttlecock behind.

Then came soccer. First game to me was just a fiasco. I have no idea why all of us didn't click. No connection at all. 2nd game wasn't too bad, but then it got overcrowded and the game deteoriated. Oh, and on top of that, my soccer ball got lost........AGAIN.....this is the 3rd soccer ball I have lost in school already.

No luck today......

Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Having a field trip to Vivocity for some "research" and "sourcing for new suppliers". In other words, shopping for the girls, more slacking for me and Khong Chun. Hahahaha,maybe will catch a movie. But then again, I'm just waiting for Death Note the movie to come out. Read the comics and its really rather nice but I'm not quite sure if the movie will be as good.

Ok, update another time.

Oh and by the way, those who think that Vanessa and I are an item. You were right. But not anymore. You get my drift.........


Can I hold you close
Can I pull you near
Can I say the words
You've been needing to hear
I wish you were mine
And I could love you till the end of time

wings tear my body apart at [1:35 AM]

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Sunday, October 08, 2006

We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
This could be heaven or this could be hell
I am running for the door
I have to find the passage back
To the place I was before

The lantern festival just passed but unfortunately it was way overshadowned by the damn haze from Indonesia and the PSI actually rose to a very unhealthy 150. But guess what, I actually played soccer with that kind of PSI. Had a pretty difficult time breathing occasionally and after the game my eyes felt like it was on fire. No kidding. There was this burning sensation in my eyes and I had a huge headache to add to my woes. Damn the haze, luckily today the PSI dropped drastically or I wouldn't be able to play soccer today.

TEP is rather fun when you got people like Shawn and Xiang Yao to add spice to life. Otherwise it would be boring as hell. So when they start their studying time and leave TEP its going to be much less fun I presume. And it is really strange that TEP is the place where you meet people you have never met before, even though you study in the same block for 1 1/2 years. In fact if not TEP, I wouldn't know a person called Li Qi, someone who is in Unity with me, ever existed even though she is in the same lecture group as me. I think either I'm too blur or I'm just too distracted and don't notice anyone else during lectures.

And apparently some guys are going crazy over Wan Yi(whats new? =D). Though there are a few chio girls around. Unfortunately one of them is in Shawn's batch and the other, Hwee Hua, is quite cheena. Yes, its now proven that both Shawn and I have about the same preference in the characteristics we like to see in a girl. Who could ever forget the time his nose mysteriously bled when he saw JR. Anyway bottom line is that once AGAIN, Wan Yi seems to be the prettiest girl there. Sian.....sigh......

Tomorrow will be the start of another week of TEP. Going to be bored once again no doubt. The thing I look foward to is housekeeping, cause its one of the legitimate times to get out of that OPS room to roam the shopping arcade and crap around there. That's why everytime I do housekeeping I'm like on a high. Talkative like mad, talking nonsense to Suraya, Lynette, "diu lei" ing Xiang Yao. Generally I give all of them good marks but my group and I always seem to give Pretty Face the most marks.....erm.....ya, don't ask me why.

Anyway thats about all for this post. Sleep beckons.......
And my English is getting from bad to worse.....damn......


She's got a lot of pretty pretty boys she calls friends.......

wings tear my body apart at [9:49 PM]

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Friday, October 06, 2006

Ignorance is bliss

Sometimes I have this fear

That when you're afraid

You turn around and no one's near

No one to protect you

Lay me down on the throes of uncertainty

Somebody please tell me that i'm dreaming

Its not easy to stop from screaming

The words escape me when I try to speak

Yet what I know now is the bare truth

Something to crush it all

Taking it hardest when dreams fall

My direction in life is blurred

My speech is slurred

Hallowed be thy name

wings tear my body apart at [11:20 AM]

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up and brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
I've got to take it on the otherside

I'm in the MSC ops room now and there's absolutely nothing for me to do at all. NOTHING! Well, thats TEP for you. Actually I will have something to do in 3wks time, when the UNITY shop will finally open and I will be manning the shop. But for now, I'm attached to Business Development(BD) and boredom reigns here. A simple 4 page minimum group(4 in a group) report, Double spacing and we're given 3days to do it. Doesn't quite add up right? We finished it 3hrs after we got that assignment and now we have to wait till thursday for the next assignment. At least now there's housekeeping to do, where we have to go to every shop to check if their windows are clean, the shop is properly manned, the stocks are properly arranged etc. Gives us a chance to actually leave this room legitimately. Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out, we aren't allowed out of this cramped room unless its lunch, toilet or special cases.

Anyway going for lunch now. Update soon......or later..

Its Not Fated.........


I yell and tell it that
She's just my friend
I tear it down I tear it down
But then it's born again

How long how long will I slide
Separate my side
I don't
I don't believe it's bad
Slittin' my throat
It's all I ever had

wings tear my body apart at [11:07 AM]

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I just found out that for my TEP I have been posted to Marketing Service Centre(MSC), or to explain it simply, there's a high chance I'll be posted to one of the shops in the shopping arcade in NYP. Some have said that I have been posted to Cheers but others have claimed otherwise. Ok, whatever it is, the first 9 weeks is going to suck. Oh and the craziest thing is Wan Yi also go MSC, meaning that i'm going to be with her for at least another 9 weeks(another 9 weeks of being bullied and suaned etc. =O)! Good also, at least there's 1 friendly face I know with me. Hahaha, I know MANY guys would die to be in my position. HOWEVER, if she were to be in the same stopovers as me for the remaining time in TEP, I would really be speechless..............with horror =P. But seriously though, what are the odds.........and I wonder who else is in MSC.

Didn't have the best of days today. Slept really late last night, at around 6+am, talking on the phone with Vanessa. Not a really, erm.......pleasant phone conversation. Started out fine at first but got into some topics and questions which were uncomfortable for me to discuss and answer. Thus, of course she wasn't too happy with that and I somehow erm.......got a bit pissed off also. Wrong of me of course and truly sorry I am, but when its 6 in the morning and i'm so tired, its hard for me to keep my good humour. Yeah, well, I'll have to wait till this Thursday when she comes back from London before I can apologize as I doubt she'll call me anymore from now to then.

Ok, so anyway I woke up prematurely early at 10am, so didn't have the appetite to eat anything(neither did I have the mood). This lack of appetite continued all the way to the time when I went to play soccer. So basically, I was playing on an empty stomach. Felt real giddy halfway through the game but still forced myself to continue which only made it worse. And from then on till now, I have this nauseous feeling. I ate a light dinner and if anything, the presence of food in my stomach made me feel like puking even more. Couldn't join Shawn in his crapping and wasn't really that responsive either. Next time i guess I'll just force food down my throat if I have no appetite and I have soccer later in the day.

I took a walk at my favourite place last night, the night sky was barely lit with the stars. I needed to clear my head over something. Was really relaxing and the wind was just nice, blowing gently and there was no one around. I was alone and listening to my Mp3. The song "In the air tonight" by phill collins somehow was so eerily suitable to describe it all. The tune was soothing, with a kind of mystical quality about it and it was really excellent to listen to when walking there. However, at the end of it all I wasn't really able to clear my head.

Ok, enough of it all. Good night everybody.

Even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're like my candle in the window
On those cold dark windless nights

wings tear my body apart at [2:44 AM]

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Monday, September 18, 2006

I walked the world, to you, babe
A thousand miles , to you
I'd give you all, and have none, babe
Just to, just to, just to, to have you here by me

Been working at causeway point for the past 17 days. At the customer service counter, working with kai boon and hazwan. Our jobs mainly consisted of sitting down on chairs, checking receipts, giving away $5 shopping vouchers, watching the world in causeway point go by, spotting any chio girls around, joking with the aunties etc. Not a bad job all in all. Could sometimes get a bit boring cause sometimes there's just nothing for you to do at all but hey, we're being paid for that. Anyway, I always enjoy working at causeway point cause its near my house(even though for 15 of the 17 days I'm late) and the working environment is good.
Won't be going through every little detail but here's the more memorable things I encountered.

1) Esther! Oh yeah, this girl working as promoter for motorolla for 2 days in the starhub shop next to us. Cute and chio. Got the height, very sweet face and the way she nods to customer really cute.....hahaha, .all 3 of us guys looked in her direction at every opportunity we had. But in the end none of us went to go ask her number or anything cause me and hazwan have other girls in our lives and kai boon have no balls. =P

2) First irritating customer. This customer, a 50+ looking uncle blew his top at ME for asking him to follow the rules. The thing is if you want to $5 voucher you've gotta be there in person and can't ask someone else to redeem for you. So his wife went to redeem for herself and for him and I asked her to call her husband to come down to the counter. Came down and scolded me for "setting such a stupid rule". Erm.....dude are you blind? I'm just a part timer and can't do nuts about the rule.

3) $5 shopping voucher collecting auntie. This auntie, wearing big specs, 3/4 pants, carrying plastic bags makes a living out of harassing customers for their reciepts and harassing other customers to help her redeem the vouchers. Totally illegal for her to harass others of course. So we had to do some detective work to track her down. Had to tail the customer she asked to redeem the voucher. Oh but she's a sneaky one. Very cunning, always picking those teenagers and non-english speaking people to help her redeem cause they don't know that they've been tricked. It took a while before we tracked her down. I was the first to actually catch her, but as I can't forcefully bring her to security, I could only warn her, scold her, threaten her. The next day she came back and got caught by Kai boon. The 3rd day she still haven't learn her lesson and this time I and wan caught her. This time I spared no mercy, scolding her and threatening her from 1 whole round around causeway point till that bitch ran across a road when a bus was coming and just got across in time to safety, knowing that I won't chase her or I'll be knocked down. Cunning sly. One of the aunties described her as a cockroach. Very true, her actions are that of a cockroach, the way she runs.....everything. Arrgh, I hate this kind of people, got 2 legs 2 hands not handicapped but do this kind of stupid stuff to get a pathetic $5 voucher instead of getting a bloody job.

4) Nancy Teo. The customer that really really pissed us all of. She's the customer that got us fuming and had us thinking of vengence the remaining time we worked. She came on Friday, 2 days before our last day and it so happened that day was going rather well for us. Kai Boon brought a magnetic chess set and we were all happily playing chess and dumb when there were no customers around and as there weren't many people that day, we could really concentrate on the game and it was really very good and intense. Added to that, I was going to meet up with Darius, Poon, Kee Seng later that day. And I saw JR as well. So overall it should be a good day for me right? Well, it was, only for this Nancy Teo,a butch looking bitch. She came to redeem 1 voucher and as the system was lagging, kai boon could do nothing but wait for the computer to finish loading. So while WAITING for the system to load, Kai Boon looked at the chess set, never even touched it, just LOOKED at it, thinking of his next move against Hazwan when she suddenly burst and scolded him for being so slow and not concentrating on his job. Kai Boon tried explaining that the system was lagging but she continued to be stubborn and scolding him. So I, who up to now was uninvolved but was a witness, got a bit angry already, but still I put up my best behaviour and tried to explain it to her too. For doing that, she pointed her finger at me and asked me not to talk back. FOR EXPLAINING! And during the whole redemption process, she was glaring at us. Then after getting the $5 voucher, she went to the guard and said she was going to complain to the management. Turns out she really called and complained about us. But you know what, since we weren't in the wrong, and the aunties were witnesses, her complaint came to naught. But that was really shitty.

Ok, that should be about it. I'm lazy to blog anymore.
And.......
I'm looking for another job. Going to have to save money. Those sweet phone calls from london are going to be expensive. Anyone who got job opening...... tell me!!

wings tear my body apart at [2:17 PM]

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I know I said I wouldn't blog unless I broke Jit leg's or something. Well, relax, I didn't do anything to him........yet. ;)

Ok, the reason why I'm blogging is because I just finished watching the season finale of "Lost", downloaded from the net and transferred most kindly by ahmad "pepe" farid. Its a hell of a finale. If you watch lost, don't miss it. Whatever you do don't miss it.

One line stood out from the show though. "All we really need to survive, is one person who truly loves us. I will wait for you. Always". Its a meaningful line. When I heard it, something in me felt connected to that line. Its true isn't it. We just need 1 person who loves truly loves you to survive, cause even if you're dead, you'll still be alive in that person's heart and soul, as a living memory of the love that person has. When you have that person who loves truly loves you, then you'll know that no matter what, someone out there will be thinking about you, wondering how you are, praying for you to be safe and happy.

I will wait for you. Always.

wings tear my body apart at [1:11 AM]

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

In The Air Tonight - Ryan Star

I'm addicted to this version of the song......way cool...

wings tear my body apart at [12:09 AM]

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Saturday, August 26, 2006

Played a soccer match today against hazwan's team at Singapore Polytechnic. Lost 8-6. I scored 2 goals but missed 2 golden opportunities. Kind of like a bittersweet thing. I miss the easiest of chances to score, while I score the goals which needs much more effort. Actually I felt we could have won the game had we taken our chances(my fault), so I wasn't too disappointed with the game and how we played it. Furthermore, the 2nd half was cut short because of some Archery CCA, just when we found our momentum, so in truth, we will never know what the score would actually be had the game run its full course. Hahaha, words of a sore loser? But words that make sense non?

But it isn't the scoreline that pissed me off. Was the irresponsibility of 2 "players" that were supposed to turn up but then didn't. Jit and Jat. Bloody f***ers, not only did they not turn up for the match, they didn't even have the bloody common courtesy to actually message or call to say they were not coming. And they didn't even message to say sorry for not turning up or anything. Nothing at all from them. At least Chin Hong messaged the night before that he couldn't make it, at least I knew what to expect the next day. I can't wait for Tuesday to come now. If they dare show their faces on the hockey pitch, I'll bloody make sure they go home full of bruises or better yet, a sprained ankle, twisted knee or broken shin. Muahahaha, evil evil evil, pure unadulterated evil person I am. Somemore Jit was supposed to be our goalkeeper, and without him we had no proper goalkeeper, thus conceding far more than we should. Kudos to Zainal and Mao Tat though, they did a cracking job filling those gloves. Angry and really pissed off with them man, luckily Zainal and Mao Tat brought 1 friend each, otherwise we wouldn't even have enough.

Okok, when all is said and done, I really have to say well played to my whole team. Shawn, Ash, Melvin, Benson, Mao Tat, Mao Tat's friend, Zainal, Zainal's friend and of course the player of the game, MYSELF! Hahahaha, just kidding. Seriously though, we make a good team.

I'm going to start work soon. Was thinking of buying several things already, even before my work has even started! This is the sign of a big spendthrift. Only difference is I'm not thinking of buying things for myself but for others. After all I don't need anything else, don't want anything else, so I might as spend it to make people who I care about happier. Only problem is i'm not quite sure as of yet what to buy. Any suggestions?

Ok, going to watch the Arsenal game now. Won't be updating so soon, maybe will update after I finish work on the 17sept. Unless, of course I break Jit and Jat's leg on Tuesday, to which you'll see a celebratory post typed while i'm half drunk from drinking champagne on the aforesaid day. Muahahahahahahaha, keep your fingers crossed people!

wings tear my body apart at [11:10 PM]

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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

What is it that I truly want?
I have no idea.........................

Part of the lyrics to The Dolphin's Cry by Live
The way you're bathed in light
Reminds me of that night
God laid me down into your rose garden of trust
And I was swept away
With nothin' left to say
Some helpless fool
Yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
You're all I need to find
So when the time is right
Come to me sweetly, come to me
Come to me

Love will lead us, alright
Love will lead us, she will lead us
Can you hear the dolphin's cry?
See the road rise up to meet us
It's in the air we breathe tonight
Love will lead us, she will lead us

Oh yeah, we meet again
It's like we never left
Time in between was just a dream
Did we leave this place?
This crazy fog surrounds me
You wrap your legs around me
All I can do to try and breathe
Let me breathe so that I
So we can go together!

Love is like a shooting star
It don't matter who you are
If you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time

Yeah, I sort of feel this way towards Vanessa.
And the best thing is.......she feels the same

But somehow.........I still am hesistating........still..........stuck in a moment I can't get out of........still stuck with the past....
I can't help myself........I can't control what I feel.

wings tear my body apart at [12:41 AM]

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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Got myself a job, its the same job that I work at exactly 1 year ago. That is the redemption counter/customer service job at causeway point. However, this time won't be working with Wan Yi as she already got herself another job, but will be working with hazwan, roy, melvin, benson and jason. They went for the interview today, followed them to show them where the office was etc. but I didn't have to be interviewed as I already confirm get the job and they interviewed me last year already. So yeah, will be working from 1-17 sept, if any of you happen to pass by causeway point, do visit me eh........

After the interview, around 11+ in the morning, I went to jog at my favourite jogging place. Now the reason why that place is my favourite jogging place is because its open air, not much buildings and cars so you kind of get fresh air. Furthermore there isn't much people around that area so its a wonderful place to jog, especially at night, when its cooling and the light guiding you is basically the moon and star light scattered with few street lamps. However, when its almost noontime, it is NOT a place to jog. I underestimated the heat of the sun, having been misguided by the cloudiness earlier and the relatively early timing I started(10:45). I had to force myself to cover only 5/6 of the distance I planned to cover before giving up to intense fatigue and heat. And I couldn't even cool down immediately, as I had to walk quite a distance in the blazing sun to the nearest shelter.

Saturday went to watch the opening match of Arsenal at the Arsenal club. Was disappointed with the overall scoreline but what I really loved was the atmosphere. The club was packed, full of Arsenal fans and I think some of them came from london and have attended the live matches before as they knew how the cheers went. It was extremely great to cheer along, the more outstanding ones were "what the fuck, what the hell, what the fucking hell was that"-->(for the opponents), "the linesman's a wanker", there's only one Arsene Wenger etc. And when Arsenal scored the equalizer, the whole place erupted. Everybody jumped out of their seats(Ashraf jumped ON his seat) and started shouting and cheering and wow, the atmosphere was just fantastic. I can't wait for the next time i'll be going back there. And when I have a girlfriend in the future I'm definitely going to convert her to a Arsenal fan and bring her there........



Sometimes I really wish I had mind reading powers to know what other people are actually thinking or feeling. It would really clear up so much of the questions I have. I have a wild imagination and I sometimes think too much into things. Really, they say being creative is good and to let creativity flow. But I think being creative and not being able to control the creativity is one of the worst things that could happen. Its either you get creative thoughts about a particular matter which are very positive or you get creative thoughts about that particular matter which are negative. Either way, its always to the extreme, and either way, you're going to get hurt somehow. If your thoughts about the matter are positive , chances are you'll be severly disappointed when reality comes crashing down. If your thoughts about the matter are negative , you'll only make yourself depressed before you know the truth. Therefore it ain't really good to overthink and imagine things.
This is exactly what I do. Usually I think on the negative side, having been dissapointed severly with the positive too many times and sometimes the negativity really gets to me. But somehow, I always manage to keep myself happy, by immersing myself in things I enjoy, like playing soccer or watching Family Guy clips on metacafe. I need to start taking things as it flows.

And recently, all my dreams when I sleep have always been revolving around someone. Its the first time this has ever happend; that my dreams for 2 whole weeks have all involved a certain person. I have no explanation for it......seriously...........

wings tear my body apart at [1:49 AM]

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Saturday, August 12, 2006

Exams are finally over.
Finally. After the fiasco of business finance, the remaining papers were relatively average, not extremely hard, not easy either.

Damn I'm tired.........
Went for a job "interview" today with hazwan and roy. It was purely a waste of my time. Now I know that if you have to ever go to the Apex building for interview, just forget it. Seems it has a reputation for housing dubious companies. Somemore the "interview" took like 3hrs +......I don't even want to make the effort to describe the whole "interview" here. Coincidentally Zaid later told us that he ever applied for this job before and it was all nonsense when they treat you so nice, cause in the end you'll have to sell electronic mattresses which cost around 2k+. So......

Went to play soccer just now too. I'm lacking stamina and fitness after not playing soccer for nearly 2 weeks due to the exams. Well,now I have nearly 2 months to go train up.

Finally, I predict a boring holiday for me. I have to go get a job to pass the time and earn some extra cash. After all, people like shawn and darius and ashley all still having school so can't go out or play soccer with them everyday. My friends all still having school then I'm like bloody bored la, want to go out go alone also like no fun. Vanessa now also exam period, don't want to disturb her either. Arrgh...............! Bored!

Oh my old phone spoiled 2weeks ago and I lost my whole contact list. Having a poor memory, I have not memorised any phone number at all. It sucks to be unable to contact people because you forgot their number. So do tell me your phone no. again if you see me online msn again or if I see you in person.


What would you follow. Your desire or logic? In other words, follow your heart or your brain.
Its a dilemma everyone will have to face at least once in their life and right now I'm in that kind of dilemma.
Following logic would be the natural choice to the neutral viewer but you cannot count out the impact of your desire and emotions. Yeah, I'm seriously hating this dilemma.

wings tear my body apart at [10:31 PM]

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

I'm still mugging away for the exams. Believe I can do much more mugging than what I'm currently doing. Don't know why but i've lost my self-discipline and my motivation to study. Argh......

Already the business finance paper on Friday is a no-hoper.......I can only hope my overall will pass so I don't need to do the supplementary paper......I f***ing hate Finance, really loathe it like f***........and of all times for the finance teacher to set trick questions they set it at exam time and in the question with the most weightage 35%!!!!! I thought trick questions were meant to be used to differentiate between distinction and A students, NOT F***ING differentiate between failures and passes!!!! Quote of the week has to come from Sean Poon. "Now we all know that finance teachers are sick in the mind". I couldn't agree more........

I met up with Vanessa for dinner last night, thus sacrificing some precious time for my studies and sacrificing going with Hazwan and Ahmad and Zaid to the esplanade for the fireworks(sorry guys). But its a worthwhile sacrifice, ate seoul garden with her at Ang Mo Kio there, really had a very good time with her, talking to her and doing stupid stuff with the food. Hahaha, never had so much fun "cooking" food. Was so very full that we took a walk around Ang Mo Kio to digest our food. Both our tummies were showing after that meal, we didn't bother to conceal it but just let our tummies show......that's how full we were! Then after that sent her home and went back to study abit.

At around midnight walked over to ahmad's house to meet up with them and it was then when I almost got knocked down by a bloody bus. Seriously man, it was green light for the pedestrain at this junction when this half blind f***ed up driver suddenly turn at the junction and kept going instead of waiting for me to cross first. I had to literally run 2 or 3 steps and jump out of the way. The bus just continued on its journey like nothing happen...wtf is that? I almost got run down and he just drive on without even attempting to put on the brakes? Meaning he really didn't see me at all that bastard. Must be sleepy or drunk that ass wipe.

Anyway going to start studying now..............

wings tear my body apart at [1:07 PM]

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Studying time!! This past few days have been dedicated to the previously neglected books and notes of all my modules. I hate business finance, really hate studying it. EFMA is still okok, law is lots of memorising, marketing and retail is more into understanding the concepts. However I don't have the overall confidence that i'll do well this time. Don't ask me why, maybe I just know i'm not that well prepared this time. Heh heh heh,actually since when am I ever well prepared?

Played soccer in school today, after studying with Wan Yi at the school library. It was a rather intense match, tensions between the two teams were at a slightly higher level than before. This resulted in a rather unlucky incident where Melvin got injured. From almost halfway across the court I could hear the cracking sound when he clashed into Dan. Really unlucky man he, heard that his injuries to his right leg included a twisted knee, twisted ankle and as the icing on the cake, a fractured toe. All on 1 leg. He'll be out from playing soccer for 3-4 months. Gosh, if I were in his position I'll go crazy. Imagine watching people playing soccer while you have no choice but to sit at home recovering. Hope he has a speedy recovery......

Shawn Tan is quite a one-of-a-kind person. First of all, the thing that got me speechless was his ring tone. Its "earth,fire,wind,water,heart.....go planet!.....captain planet, he's our hero etc...." I mean.....when I heard it I found myself in a rare position of being unable to make a sacarstic comment, or any kind of comment actually. Hahaha, seriously man, where does he get this type of ringtones from. Then we were heading down to mcdonalds to get ice for Melvin's leg and when we got to Mcs, he asked the person for a cup of ice. Yes, just a cup of ice........if I didn't go with him, he would have returned with JUST a cup of ice which is pratically pointless. Somemore when I notified him of the missing plastic bag which he didn't ask from the person at the counter, he can say don't need la, can use the cup and put on his foot. Brilliant eh? I think if he really did that Melvin will fight through the pain and chase after shawn to make him eat his foot or something. And then when I arrived home, he gave me this link through msn, a funnily stupid video about this German boy throwing a HUGT tantrum over a stupid game(includes taking the keyboard and smashing it against the table several time and spewing unlimited vulgarities). It just suddenly occured to me that I have no idea where Shawn gets all these links to the stupidest videos or sound clips(who can forget the bangla prank call). Does he actually take the time to search out these weird things? He is also a self styled "Master Yoda" so to conclude............interesting person, shawn tan is.

Argh.......tomorrow have to study law and what not again. Damn ah, can't wait for the exams to be over........then can really relax ah........

And to all those taking the exams at the same time as me.........all the best in your revision!

SHOW ME HOW TO LIVE!!!

OK will end here


I wonder Vanessa......what's really going on between us?
Is it the start of something new?
Or the rekindling of the old flame?

wings tear my body apart at [1:15 AM]

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What is the truth
What is reality
What can't be removed
Is that part of humanity
See death in those eyes
As the flame dies
Then suddenly arise
Lingering on forever.....
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