Tag
friends
link1
Sunita,
*Jun Rui,
Safary,
Sabrina,
Jesvin,
Khairul,
Wan Yi,
Kai Boon,
Ahmad,
Jek Yew,
Darius,
Kee Seng(Lex),
Shawn,
Gilbert,
Li Qin,
Arsenal(gunnerblog)!
recent
This post is not one of my usual posts. It is mean...
Tonight the music seems so loudI wish that we coul...
I'm not going to make anymore excuses for myself. ...
Every day I wake up and it's SundayWhatever's in m...
Everytime that I look in the mirrorAll these lines...
Has he lost his mind?Can he see or is he blind?Wil...
Take the time to make some senseof what you want t...
I don't know what's worth fighting forOr why I hav...
My hands are tied My mind is blankMy body bruisedN...
See the stone set in your eyes See the thorn twist...
past
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
credits
about me
Name: Noah
nickname: Crucifer
Age: 17
From: Singapore
Faves
Music-->Music with heavy rock influences
Books-->Lotr,harry potter,death note,Rave
Tv shows-->Comedies mostly
Game-->Warcraft 3(dota),Command and Conquer
Sport-->Soccer(midfielder)
Color-->Plain classic black
Horoscope-->Scorpio
Explanation
People keep on asking me what my blog address stands for. I have written in a previous entry what this blog address means but as it'll take a long time to locate it, I'll just give a brief explanation here.
Everyone has a dark side, everyone has a good side to them. No one is completely evil nor perfect. So I have characterised this 2 sides of my as crucifer being my dark side and ntljr as my good side. I can't explain how the name Crucifer came about,but its definitely not because of the superband band lucify. Crucifer was a nickname I had for myself for a long time before that. Ntljr basically stands for what every postive feeling, every postitive emotion and quality I have running through me. I have always looked towards "ntljr" as a source of inspiration, and no matter how down I am, I will cling on to that last bit of humanity and hope of "ntljr". This is hard to explain and I doubt anyone will understand as its a matter of emotions and feelings. What ntljr stands for is obvious to but a few, but suffice it to say that it'll always mean something to me. Always.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
I have been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways
I will never long for what might have been
Regret will not waste my life again
I will not look back I fight to remain
On this day I see clearly
Everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And I will leave it all behind
Fear will kill me
All I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe
Could I be set free from you
On this day it is so real to me
Everything has come to light
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel alive
wings tear my body apart at [12:30 AM]
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Merry Christmas everyone! Been a long time since I updated blog and what better time to do it than at 3AM in the morning of christmas? Slacked the week away since the holidays started already......went to do the marketing project with Jesvin in the middle of the week and thats when I fully understood what Jek Yew went through when he did the SPSS all by himself during our stats project.......thanks a million Jek! Really appreciate it......=D Haha,other than that spent my time at home mostly reading,playing the computer and sleeping! WOO! A bit no life ah me,but gotta relax when the time comes.....am looking for a job also cos my $$$ is at a all time low........
Last Sunday was Huiling jie jie's wedding,beautiful event but got a bit of cock up with the seating arrangements cos some granduncle got a feud with another granduncle then cannot sit together.....in the end after rearraging both kor and kai kai had to sit at such a table so far away from their sister who is the bride! I mean,so old already still want to quarrel,so bloody immature.....i think shawn tan more mature than them ah(that's saying alot cos shawn at his age still does things like rolling up paper balls and throwing it at other people).....but all in all it was a successful event though I sincerely pray that both the bride and groom will love each other.......on the surface it seems perfect but if one knew the actual reason they were getting married......but as I said hopefully by being married to each other,they will learn to understand each other better and lead a happy blissful married life.
Haha,I read the young and foolish's one blog about working alone and being sian so, I being the good guy went to causeway point almost everyday to go eat lunch with her.....haha,still that doesn't mean I'm wooing her so to everybody who wants to get me better spectacles for christmas.....don't!!! Haha, some of you may not understand what the last line meant but just read it again and you'll get it........aiya but actually her work like super slack like that,can take pictures with the giant MnM statue somemore........haha,as if the MnM statue don't look pretty enough.......Lolz,Just to remind you Wan Yi,"Beauty and the Beast" was last time event hor,do not attempt to recreate it by taking your picture with the beauty MnM statue... ;P
Next week will be starting some serious studying,hopefully i'll have the willpower to sit down and study study study.....yes I know its the holidays but I really need to catch up on some lessons especially in accounts.......haiz........
Anyway end of post so once again i'll like to wish every one MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Don't worry girl,you've got people concerned for you
So no matter what you're going through,no matter what you don't understand
No matter how much things seem to not go your way
Just know that there will always be at least one person who will look out for you
Stay strong Mon Chere.......
wings tear my body apart at [2:43 AM]
Friday, December 16, 2005
Mon---8 hrs of lessons,3 hrs break which were spent doing projects,total 12hrs of school....... I think you get the picture.
Tue---8 hrs of school,1 hr break,a 2hour stressful business software application test......I was knocked out flat when I got home.
Wed---School started at 8am,finished at 1. Went to finish up the stats project and gave Jun Rui her birthday presents(a love passport perfume and a necklace I made myself).Haha,kena scolding by Wan Yi and Darius because they think I should have talk to her longer.....Anyway had to rush off to Ang Mo Kio to meet my dota team members(lex,william,safary,sean poon) who were practicing at the Lan Shop there. I unfortunately had no time to accompany Wan Yi to see the doctor for the rash on her hand as our timeslot in the dota competition was at 630 and there was little time left for me to go and practice with my team members(For the record,the super lazy Wan Yi didn't see the doctor ;D). When we got there,we managed to win the first round because lex was on top form. However,the 2nd round was a different story,we were being dominated.......if not for lex,william and me defending like crazy,we would have lost the game much earlier,instead we dragged it out till the maximum time limit and could have won it if we had a bit more luck and if the "wonderful" sean had died a little less haha......in the end lost in the scoring system.......sad man,$10,000 prize money fly away just like that...........the whole thing ended at 11pm,so by the time I got back was extremely late......it was thus a whole day spent outside and I was unconcious when my head touched the pillow that night and I drifted into a dreamless sleep.
Thur---Didn't go to school the whole day as I overslept. Got my first warning letter for accounts already what the hell,cannot pon any more.....sad......However went shopping with Wan Yi at causeway pt for birthday gifts for sean,felicia,the "foolish one" ashley and er......my birthday present. I didn't want any but Wan Yi insisted on it even though my birthday was like 1month plus ago. Thanks to felicia,Wan Yi and lihua who all gave me presents.......Then went to Wan Yi's aunt house to carry a microwave oven over to Wan Yi house so that she could bake cookies......my reward? One box of delicious and freshly baked cookies which I collected at around 11pm and finished it at around 1145pm. Couldn't stop eating it at all............super super nice.......thumbs up to you girl........you know I don't usually praise people but you really deserve it. Hahaha,unlike your accountings mark,I give you an A for those cookies........okok I stop suaning you,my accounts mark also confirm not that good.........quite a long entry already so will stop now.........
wings tear my body apart at [1:38 PM]
Sunday, December 11, 2005
I suddenly feel so crazy......not thinking straight anymore......i guess it has got something to do with the fact that almost everything seems to be against me this afternoon.......the weather,the players,my stupid lousy connection handphone.........Such a bloody sian day today so mostly spent daydreaming about this and that and guess what!?! In the midst of it all a realization suddenly dawned on me.......won't be saying what it is though........have to think it through first.......anyway today Wan Yi said that while working this China lady went to scold all of them or something.....really pity Wan Yi,I understand how unreasonable,rude and irritating some customers can be.......Haha,wasted I wasn't working there otherwise I can help Wan Yi take the scolding since I most probably won't understand a single Chinese word the woman is saying especially if she has the china accent,then can let her talk and talk and talk while I just pretend to be distraught and sorry but actually thinking of something else....takes me back to the time when I was working as a waiter,serving rich arrogant people who treat us waiters like as if they own us......bossing us around,scolding us if we make a little mistake and complaining to the manager about every little thing,so many of them are like that until i'm sort of immune to customer scoldings..........and its not like I'm a bad waiter of anything,I'm one of the better waiters,always smiling and trying to make the customer happy(actually I'm just hoping for a tip la) but customers can still find fault with me......bloody irritaing jackasses but I guess it takes all kinds to make the world.......good experience for me though,learning how to handle different types of people is a invaluable skill to pick up especially since I'm in business management......
Oh and btw,I just finished watching the Arsenal game and I'm seriously thinking that Arsenal don't win the champions league,then its a total disgrace to the stadium Highbury.......bringing glory one last time to that ground is the least they can do to thank Highbury for being their home for so very long.......
Two people celebrated their birthdays this week
Sean poon(one of my brothers)---Wonderful,so you're finally 17,time to stop playing the computer day in day out man and start exploring the world or at least Singapore instead of being cooped up at Hougang. Life away from the cyber world is there to be enjoyed so don't be such a hardcore gamer anymore la and you know that my birthday msg for you is to GO GET A GIRLFRIEND!
Jun Rui---You have changed since secondary school,in a positive way. Now you're more mature,you've developed a much stronger character and you're definitely growing prettier by the moment. Things may not go your way sometimes and life ain't fair but perservere on girl and try to take the positive side in everything....cause you're one of the people I truly care about and I don't want you to be sad. Continue fighting for all your goals and dreams,you'll achieve them someday. Finally,I sincerly hope,pray and wish that you'll soon find true love........
wings tear my body apart at [1:02 AM]
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
I just feel like listening to metal music and waste away through the night.............
As I spread my wings and shout to the crowd
In the name of love I'll fly
My eyes seem so glazed
As I fly on the wings of dream
Now I falter and cannot be saved
Now my wings turn to ashes to ashes my grave
wings tear my body apart at [12:59 AM]
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Wow,i'm so freaking tired after today's soccer,ran and ran and ran until I dropped(literally),then picked myself up and ran somemore.......haiz,what to do,I'm just filled with the drive to play my best and chase every ball,harass every defender,tackle anybody attacking us. Unfortunately though,I don't see the same passion in several of my players.....the player who I really look up to though is Sani......he really plays the game with passion,he's the best player on the field but yet he turns up every week without fail,even with an ingrown toenail he will still come for training,that's how passionate he is. Unlike several other people who just suck so fucking badly but still don't come for training at all. Furthurmore when he plays,he challenges for every ball,runs up and down the field and somehow manages to lead and inspire the team in his own quiet way. As a result,today he almost fought with a opposition player after tackling him......admittedly Sani tackle was a bad tackle but before he could apologise the opposition player(keith) started to challenge him already. Therefore a war of words ensued but luckily there were the old men to stop the situation getting out of hand,otherwise if a fight broke out between keith and sani,keith wouldn't stand a chance seeing as how Sani has a black belt in taekwondo and is trained in the police force. Anyway the matter was settled peacefully as its only a game after all and should be enjoyed. Sani's reason for tackling so rough on keith was that he saw no one on our team dared to challenge keith for the ball as keith is a stout fast player so he wanted to tackle keith to show us there was nothing to be afraid of and to set an example for us. If only my team had more people like Sani to drive us on,we can challenge any team with confidence man.........unfortuantely,I'm stuck with people like Shawn(haha;P).......anyway will end here ba,too tired to continue.
wings tear my body apart at [10:10 PM]
Friday, December 02, 2005
Maybe I sometimes seem to pretend not to notice you
Maybe I sometimes seem to try to ignore your existence
Maybe I sometimes seem to look the other way when I see you
You see,
You want me to move on,you told me that from the start
But everytime I see you,my heart starts to beat faster
And my feelings for you resurfaces from deep within
Then I start to feel afraid,cause once again I am opening myself up for dissapointment and hurt
I want to again start feeling the joy of being in love with someone who will love me too
But sometimes I just can't help dreaming.............about me and you together.........a fantasy which I can only love but never live.....................
wings tear my body apart at [10:23 PM]
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Today woke up late so didn't go for effective writing at 8. There were no more lessons today as marketing was a e-learn lecture so actually I could have stayed at home the whole day. However today was the day that Wan Yi had her auditions for the NYP singing competition and since I promised to support her from the start,I went to school to do just that. Happened Wan Yi also didn't go for the writing,so I arranged to meet her at 1230 in school. Reason why we didn't meet in woodlands first was because I though I could go to school and study for the microecons test with the rest of the gang. Unfortunately,I messaged lex to tell him about my plan but Mr Kee Seng had the perfect timing to forget to bring his handphone today so in the end I went to school and had to study alone as all the rest of them went home. Bloody kee seng......... Too boring so went to the free access lab instead and played with the computer until Wan Yi came. Her registration no. was 35 so we had a long wait until 410 before it was her turn.Damn long wait.......However she used this time to practice her singing and I honestly think she has a good chance of getting through to the next round. Will stop here for today,feeling nostalgic........
I just posted a comment on darius blog over his latest blog entry which was quite emotional. I wrote it without thinking about myself but looking back again at my comment,a part of it made me feel............i don't know how to describe the feeling.......sort of sad,sort of nostalgic, sort of enlightened.......really don't know what I feel.
Anyway here's the part of the comment:
"To know that someone in this world is thinking of you all the time,isn't that such a wonderful thing? Let me tell you,the pain is inderscribable to be thinking of someone all the time,yet knowing that the person you're thinking about is thinking of someone else...........At least you've got something to look foward to,a direction in your life,a reality to live and love....................not just a dream nor a hopeless fantasy.........."
wings tear my body apart at [1:37 AM]