Its not over till I breathe my last gasp of air

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Man, am I looking foward to playing a soccer match soon. Yes, instead of just talking to shawn or ashley about it, I have decided to actually do something. So I already got the opponent, got the form for the application of the NYP soccer field, got the date and got the players. Yeah man, hopefully it the application is approved.

I failed my business finance paper. 18.5 marks. Damn shit. I saw the paper, I didn't do too badly for the cash flow thingy but its the section A which killed me. And now my business finance lecturer/tutor wants all those who fail to pass up their homework for checking. How secondary/primary school is that??? And people who knows me well will know that it is very rare for me to actually do homework. Erm....ok, maybe this compulsory submission of business finance homework is actually good for me. I also got back my EFMA project result back and I got a B. B is also the same result for my Mkting Mgmt ICA1 report. Very interesting eh, looks like I'll just be an average student once again unless I start to pay more attention to my studies.

Oh and I certainly feel sorry for the Mediacorp actress Aileen Tan who has to abort her baby or die. I wonder eh, some people want a child so much but has no choice except to abort. Then there are others who abort just because they do not want their child after their stupid mistake. Man, I know its going to hurt bad for Aileen Tan. Experience speaks. Sometimes the world is just so damn strange...........couldn't it be the other way round? When someone who actually wants a child gets to keep it, while the one who doesn't want a child yet can't? I just feel sorry for Aileen Tan.......

Okie, that's about all

wings tear my body apart at [11:59 PM]

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

If a dream is beyond reach, should you let it go? Or should you just hold on to that dream, however hopeless it may seem. What may seem to be impossible of happening may just be an illusion conjured up by your disappointment at the lack of sucess. Someone once asked me why I still hung on to something which most probably will never happen. I had no answer to him then and I have no definite answer to him now. But some dreams are just worth hanging on to, some things are not meant to be let go. Because even if you feel like giving up in your dream, giving up hope, even when there's a 99% chance of failure, you will choose to believe in that 1% if its worth it.
I chose to believe for nearly 2 years now. I brace myself for the inevitable sign that all hope in that dream is lost. But till that light of hope is snuffed out, i'll still believe and hang on.

And so should you.......

I know, maybe its none of my business all of this. Maybe i'm just sticking my nose where it shouldn't belong. But I just can't help it, I hate to see anything go wrong for you.........whatever you're hanging on to, just hang on if it means that much to you.

ok, enough or even too much has been said.......

wings tear my body apart at [11:04 PM]

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

This short entry will just be factual and boring.

I did some research on gastritis and how to relieve its pain

Antacids -- Aluminum-containing and magnesium-containing antacids can be helpful in relieving symptoms of gastritis by neutralizing gastric acids. These agents are inexpensive and safe.

Antacids is a kind of medicine that is good for reliving gastric pain. Gastric pain can really be discomforting and plain irritating so getting antacids for it is a good way to relieve the pain and it will heal the gastritis also. Erm....as mentioned above its not expensive either and very affordable and can be got from your local doctor!

But the best way to get rid of gastric pain is to eat well and don't skip meals. Er....ok, ya that's about all.

wings tear my body apart at [2:39 AM]

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

WHY?
The most frequently used word when asking a question. So many things in this world are unexplained, so many things unknown. I find myself enthralled by the word, I have so many questions I have to ask, so many answers I have yet to know. Maybe there are some of my questions which have no answers.

These 5 questions in my life haunt me:
1) Why is Stacy so stupid to do what she did?
2) Why am I so stupid to have helped her and get involved in that fucked up incident?
3) Why does it take so long to heal?
4) Why nice people get taken advantage of
5) Why JR never had feelings for me even though I have so much love for her.

Bonus question
Why is Ahmad obsessed with Samosas?

Haha, continue some other time.....

wings tear my body apart at [9:50 PM]

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Friday, June 16, 2006

So i'm watching the England match right now as I blog and the only reason why I am capable of this seemingly impossible multi-tasking is that England matches are SUPER boring. No doubt on paper they have one of the best sides in the tournament but their style of playing can single-handedly make one cringe and suffer from deep and sudden feelings of regret for paying for the world cup channel on SCV.

Ahh....anyway I played soccer yesterday at the futsal court with some of the old 4e3 and 4e2 fellers, fathul, hamzah, fareed,ashraf,rajen,taufik to name a few. Ahmad was supposed to go but he had to attend a workshop at the last minute and I strongly suspect he went there for the free samosas. Nonetheless it was a good and tiring soccer workout, haven't played with them for a very long time. After went to lepak at one of the Marsiling coffee shops with Hazwan, Safary and Ahmad. Was intending to watch the Spain's match but after awhile realised that the place where we were sitting was way too far from the TV screen and none of us could actually see the ball, just people in Red and Yellow running around. So we just ate our dinner there then headed over to hazwan's house to help him crack Championship Manager on his PC and to play his Playstation 2. Had a good laugh there thanks to Safary. They were playing Winning Eleven and this player from France Lilian Thuram had the ball when suddenly Safary commented that he once thought Lilian Thuram was Vijay Singh. OK, to the non-soccer fans this might not seem very weird or anything but the thing is both Thuram and Vijay are totally different. Anyway you had to be there to appreciate the humour of it. The thing is that it certainly made me laugh like a mad man, and for that 5 fleeting minutes, all my troubles both past and present seemed to evaporate from my life. Certainly a good feeling to feel.

I had a nightmare last night, the contents of which has been stuck in my head for the whole of today. It started out with me in the Sidek Clinic at Eastpoint mall. I know it was that clinic because frankly, I doubt I'll ever be able to forget that place even though in my dream the place had slightly different decorations. So anyway, the contents of it was that someone who still means a lot to me and whom I care about deeply was in that clinic undergoing some operation. Then my aunty suddenly came out and told me that it was my fault that this had happened and started to chase me around eastpoint mall with some sort of stick saying over and over that it was my fault with me denying all the way(details of the chase was highly illogical and kinda hazy so i'll not go into it). I never found out what I did in that nightmare and then here comes the key point. A doctor told me that the person who was having the operation had not made it, which literally opened the floodgates of tears for me. First time ever I cried during my sleep, such was the impact of the nightmare, and I remember that in my dream I was praying hard that she was still alive. I don't know why but the nightmare completely overwhelmed me that night. I awoke and found my pillow wet with my tears. Its one of the worst nightmare I've had, as that person is someone whom I really want nothing bad to happen to and will want her to lead the most fufilling and wonderful life. In fact if there's one thing I really truly want is that she will be forever happy...........................

But when all is said and done, I need to wash my pillow ~_~

wings tear my body apart at [1:03 AM]

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Wow, finally the holidays have started. Actually its just 2 weeks break but i'm gonna relish every moment of it. The last week has not been the best for me. Frankly, the last week sucked. I fell sick, got a cold, fever and a severe sore throat. The fever was especially irritating, I don't mind having a cold or sore throat but fever completely shuts down my brain system. I went to the doctor on Monday to get a MC and he kindly issued me a 2 day MC which was useless as I had French and ICT presentation on Tuesday and I didn't want to miss it. So on Tuesday I went to school but not before consuming my medicine which had a nasty effect of making the consumer drowsy, resulting in me going through my presentations in a zombie like state. Whether it'll affect my marks, I have no idea as of yet nor am I going to worry myself over it. Oh and to add to my discomfort, the antibiotics I took made me experience extreme pain in my stomach, which after visiting the doctor 2days later, was diagnosed as gastric and that the medicine aggravated it. No idea how come I have gastric problem. Anyway the timing of falling sick couldn't have been worse, as the last week was a hectic week with Mkting Mgmt project and EFMA project deadline falling on Friday and Thursday respectively. Add to that the aforesaid 2 presentations and Business Law. I just wonder why I can't fall sick some other time. Big THANKS to both my EFMA and Mkting Mgmt group project members.

THE WORLD CUP IS FINALLY HERE!!! Yea man, finally the biggest soccer competition in the world is here, the most prestigious cup in soccer is up for grabs. Which team do I support? No particular team actually but I have a soft spot for France though I won't be watching their matches if its in the wee hours of the morning as their play is boring. My prediction for the country to win this competiton is the host Germany. No reasons why. Just a feeling. Common sense though dictates that Brazil should win this cup with ease but as I always say, the ball is round and you can never truly predict what will happen.

Rejection is hard to take, it doesn't matter even if you know from the start that your chances of sucess is low and improbable, your heart will always choose to believe in that improbability. And when you fail, you fall hard on the jagged rocks of reality numbing your body and every of your senses for that moment. It is the same for every body, but it hurts even more so when you are truly sincere and passionate in your love. There is no fitting word nor action to describe this pain, the chaos in your mind distorting the dimensions of rational thought, the inferno which burned brightly in your heart and fuelled your passion,your love and your dream extiguinshed in that moment when you get rejected. Weathering the storm and onslaught of the recurring memory of that moment for countless days and endless nights, its the start of an ardous journey and uphill task to move on and be no longer ensnared by the shackles of rejection.................

Actually to put it in a nutshell, rejection sucks. Haha, I just wanted to indulge myself in trying out using a dramatic style of writing.

The dream is dead

wings tear my body apart at [3:34 AM]

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Click on the nails to navigate

What is the truth
What is reality
What can't be removed
Is that part of humanity
See death in those eyes
As the flame dies
Then suddenly arise
Lingering on forever.....