about me
Name: Noah
nickname: Crucifer
Age: 17
From: Singapore
Faves
Music-->Music with heavy rock influences
Books-->Lotr,harry potter,death note,Rave
Tv shows-->Comedies mostly
Game-->Warcraft 3(dota),Command and Conquer
Sport-->Soccer(midfielder)
Color-->Plain classic black
Horoscope-->Scorpio
Explanation
People keep on asking me what my blog address stands for. I have written in a previous entry what this blog address means but as it'll take a long time to locate it, I'll just give a brief explanation here.
Everyone has a dark side, everyone has a good side to them. No one is completely evil nor perfect. So I have characterised this 2 sides of my as crucifer being my dark side and ntljr as my good side. I can't explain how the name Crucifer came about,but its definitely not because of the superband band lucify. Crucifer was a nickname I had for myself for a long time before that. Ntljr basically stands for what every postive feeling, every postitive emotion and quality I have running through me. I have always looked towards "ntljr" as a source of inspiration, and no matter how down I am, I will cling on to that last bit of humanity and hope of "ntljr". This is hard to explain and I doubt anyone will understand as its a matter of emotions and feelings. What ntljr stands for is obvious to but a few, but suffice it to say that it'll always mean something to me. Always.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
I don't know whySo many questionsI need an answerTwo years later you're still on my mindThere's a whole lot of tension in my TEP room right now. And most unfortunately I'm a part of it all. I knew there would be what they call "politics" but I didn't expect it'll involve me or my group. Added to that, that chee ko pek Mr. Chan seems to be picking on me. Well, those who know me from secondary school days know that I don't back down when I'm being picked on unfairly. Try to be a asshole with me and I'll show you my f***ed up bastard side. Tomorrow seems to be a ripe date for a showdown with him, what with the very curt email he sent me---> "see me in my room. Now." over the latecoming attendance list. Man, i'm going to love taking this head on........somehow, I can't bring myself to "por" people. Not at all. No matter who that person is, I won't "por" him/her. So I guess Mr. Chan must be very disappointed with our BD group cause thats precisely what we don't do.........I want to go have some funTired of all these "politics"Sick of thinking about how we got "backstabbed"Lazy to plot any revenge.......Anyway, went to town on Monday with Shawn, Hanquan, Desmond, Melvin, Gilbert. It was crazy man. Especially the antics of Hanquan and Shawn, who kept on disturbing Gilbert. Laughed like crazy, till my jaws ached. Melvin also laughed until he had a headache and felt like puking. Really crazy man. Watched Departed with them, kind of like a impromptu decision, but it was a nice movie nonetheless. The movie ended at 12:30 and so some of us ended up taking Night Rider while some took Taxi. I took NR2 back to woodlands, but not before stopping at a 7-11 store to buy A3 batteries and almost bought strawberry flavoured..................condoms. The 2 asses shawn and desmond went to put the condom on the counter while I was not looking and the Indian Cashier there asked me if I was really going to buy that, and he very nearly scanned the product in. I was still blur and thought he was referring to the battery so I said yes, but realise my mistake in time to stop the transaction from happening. Hahahaha, but anyway as Shawn said, had I bought that packet of Condoms, it would have been equally tarnishing for both their images. Think about it.........3 guys+late at night+strawberry condoms = .................... you fill in the blanks.Thats all for now........I wonder if the Death Note Movie is nice............I watched the stars crash in the seaIf I could ask God just one questionWhy aren't you here with me..........Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you.......
wings tear my body apart at [12:27 AM]
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Monday, October 23, 2006
When you’re walking on your ownWhen you’re broken and aloneI'm always on your side Even if I'm not in your lifeAhh......been watching Prison Break on my laptop. Just finished watching the whole of season 1 and damn it.......I can't wait for season 2 to come out. It is seriously a wonderful show, a real quality show. I'm not very patient with dramas or serials like Grey's anatomy or Desperate Housewives or channel 8 serial shows but this show is something different. Its a very dark show, not a lot of laughter and not a lot of romance. Not to say its totally devoid of these 2 elements. For those of you who don't know about "prison break", its about how the protaganist of the show, Michael Scofield, a very successful structural engineer, purposely gets himself arrested and sent to Fox River Jail, just so that he can rescue his elder brother Lincoln Burrows, who has been sentenced to death for a crime Lincoln was framed for. Fox River is a top security jail, holding all the hardcore prisoners in there and security is top-notch so you wouldn't expect much results from Scofield's attempts at rescue. But the key here is that Michael is a genius, with an exceptionally high IQ and it was HE who DESIGNED Fox River prison. It is gripping to see how he copes with the brutality and rigours of prison life in 1 of the most notorious prisons in the USA. Corrupt cops, gang fights, riots, rape, murder......are all part of the prison. Outside those walls however, is a great conspiracy waiting to be uncovered. A conspiracy which leads to the highest levels of the US government and the conspiracy has got something to do with Lincoln and his being framed. Overall, this show makes for riveting viewing and I would highly recommend all to watch it. Be warned though, this show is in your face and some scenes may make you squeamish so viewer discretion is advised........if anyone is interested, get the whole of season 1 from Darius or from me. My rating for this show? 5 out of 5. Definitely.Tomorrow TEP starts again, gotta start doing the Vivocity report. Bahh........I love to slack during TEP, but I guess its time to pull up my socks or the teachers will notice and give me bad grades. I mean, tongues are bound to wag if we don't start working our asses off. We ARE after all given "pay" in the form of grades and obviously we need to work very very hard. Even if we have nothing to do, we must make sure that we find something to do, so that Mr Chan will feel that the "money coming out from his pocket" will be well spent. Maybe if we finish our report early and have nothing to do, we can lick his boots for him? Polish his apple? Isn't that right? We MUST and I mean MUST do something even if we have nothing to do no? Thats what EVERYBODY in MSC, no, EVERYBODY in TEP must do right? No one should be slacking about even if they can, no one should be relaxing even if there's nothing for them to do. All must stay at their station, not go out until lunch time otherwise our "pay" will be cut cause then it'll be unfair to the "HARDWORKING" people who do work all the time. Aww damn...............I'm so remorseful, so ashamed of my behaviour over the past 3 weeks of TEP. Oh forgive me for my selfish acts of slacking around instead of finding some work to do. I regret my actions.........................GOod, For Understanding how to ChecK if I am sincere, YOU DeseRve SwEet LoVES!--> I mean it.That's about all for this post actually.After all of these yearsI'm still tryin' to shake this feelingDoin' much better, they say that it just takes timeBut deep in the night it's an endless fightI can't get you out of my mind
wings tear my body apart at [1:25 AM]
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
What I'd give to run my finger through your hairTo touch your lips, to hold you nearWhen you say your prayers try to understandI'm not perfect, I'm just a manIts not been a good day for me today.Came to school very late(slept late) for the first time in 3 weeks. Ok, not that late, only 40min late and usually you can be as late as 2hours and nobody will care but guess what, Ms Lee had to have a meeting at 9 today, meaning I wasn't able to attend the meeting. I just hope my TEP marks won't have dropped a grade. Then played badminton with all of the BD team, again, chose the lousiest racquet unintentionally. I mean, 2 of the strings were not attached and it was very heavy for a badminton racquet. Obviously, I couldn't really swing the racquet without feeling a heavy strain on my arm. Especially when I'm hitting the shuttlecock behind. Then came soccer. First game to me was just a fiasco. I have no idea why all of us didn't click. No connection at all. 2nd game wasn't too bad, but then it got overcrowded and the game deteoriated. Oh, and on top of that, my soccer ball got lost........AGAIN.....this is the 3rd soccer ball I have lost in school already. No luck today......Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Having a field trip to Vivocity for some "research" and "sourcing for new suppliers". In other words, shopping for the girls, more slacking for me and Khong Chun. Hahahaha,maybe will catch a movie. But then again, I'm just waiting for Death Note the movie to come out. Read the comics and its really rather nice but I'm not quite sure if the movie will be as good. Ok, update another time.Oh and by the way, those who think that Vanessa and I are an item. You were right. But not anymore. You get my drift.........Can I hold you closeCan I pull you nearCan I say the wordsYou've been needing to hearI wish you were mineAnd I could love you till the end of time
wings tear my body apart at [1:35 AM]
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
We are all just prisoners hereOf our own deviceThis could be heaven or this could be hellI am running for the doorI have to find the passage backTo the place I was beforeThe lantern festival just passed but unfortunately it was way overshadowned by the damn haze from Indonesia and the PSI actually rose to a very unhealthy 150. But guess what, I actually played soccer with that kind of PSI. Had a pretty difficult time breathing occasionally and after the game my eyes felt like it was on fire. No kidding. There was this burning sensation in my eyes and I had a huge headache to add to my woes. Damn the haze, luckily today the PSI dropped drastically or I wouldn't be able to play soccer today.TEP is rather fun when you got people like Shawn and Xiang Yao to add spice to life. Otherwise it would be boring as hell. So when they start their studying time and leave TEP its going to be much less fun I presume. And it is really strange that TEP is the place where you meet people you have never met before, even though you study in the same block for 1 1/2 years. In fact if not TEP, I wouldn't know a person called Li Qi, someone who is in Unity with me, ever existed even though she is in the same lecture group as me. I think either I'm too blur or I'm just too distracted and don't notice anyone else during lectures. And apparently some guys are going crazy over Wan Yi(whats new? =D). Though there are a few chio girls around. Unfortunately one of them is in Shawn's batch and the other, Hwee Hua, is quite cheena. Yes, its now proven that both Shawn and I have about the same preference in the characteristics we like to see in a girl. Who could ever forget the time his nose mysteriously bled when he saw JR. Anyway bottom line is that once AGAIN, Wan Yi seems to be the prettiest girl there. Sian.....sigh......Tomorrow will be the start of another week of TEP. Going to be bored once again no doubt. The thing I look foward to is housekeeping, cause its one of the legitimate times to get out of that OPS room to roam the shopping arcade and crap around there. That's why everytime I do housekeeping I'm like on a high. Talkative like mad, talking nonsense to Suraya, Lynette, "diu lei" ing Xiang Yao. Generally I give all of them good marks but my group and I always seem to give Pretty Face the most marks.....erm.....ya, don't ask me why. Anyway thats about all for this post. Sleep beckons.......And my English is getting from bad to worse.....damn......She's got a lot of pretty pretty boys she calls friends.......
wings tear my body apart at [9:49 PM]
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Friday, October 06, 2006
Ignorance is blissSometimes I have this fear
That when you're afraid
You turn around and no one's near
No one to protect you
Lay me down on the throes of uncertainty
Somebody please tell me that i'm dreaming
Its not easy to stop from screaming
The words escape me when I try to speak
Yet what I know now is the bare truth
Something to crush it all
Taking it hardest when dreams fall
My direction in life is blurred
My speech is slurred
Hallowed be thy name
wings tear my body apart at [11:20 AM]
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I heard your voice through a photograph I thought it up and brought up the past Once you know you can never go backI've got to take it on the otherside I'm in the MSC ops room now and there's absolutely nothing for me to do at all. NOTHING! Well, thats TEP for you. Actually I will have something to do in 3wks time, when the UNITY shop will finally open and I will be manning the shop. But for now, I'm attached to Business Development(BD) and boredom reigns here. A simple 4 page minimum group(4 in a group) report, Double spacing and we're given 3days to do it. Doesn't quite add up right? We finished it 3hrs after we got that assignment and now we have to wait till thursday for the next assignment. At least now there's housekeeping to do, where we have to go to every shop to check if their windows are clean, the shop is properly manned, the stocks are properly arranged etc. Gives us a chance to actually leave this room legitimately. Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out, we aren't allowed out of this cramped room unless its lunch, toilet or special cases. Anyway going for lunch now. Update soon......or later..Its Not Fated.........I yell and tell it that She's just my friendI tear it down I tear it down But then it's born again How long how long will I slide Separate my side I don'tI don't believe it's badSlittin' my throat It's all I ever had
wings tear my body apart at [11:07 AM]
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