Its not over till I breathe my last gasp of air

Sunday, December 24, 2006

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But can I have some clarity
Come show me what you mean
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused

I am not in the best of moods these few days. Must be the weather......making everything seem so dull, so lifeless....making me feel so....melancholy. Ever get the feeling like you just don't see the reason for getting out of bed, don't see the reason for opening your eyes, don't see the reason for breathing, for doing anything at all actually. Even though there are people I have to meet, things I could be doing.......yet none of it appeals to me. I'm not depressed or anything, just feel that I have a certain lack of motivation or direction in my life. Hmmm..............

So ya, erm..........in a nutshell for the past 2 weeks, I've been going out, here and there, town, jurong east that side, etc. etc..........going out with various people.

And Stacy, enough is enough....I've been your supposed "lifeline" for too long and for too many times. I don't need to punish myself any longer. I have my own life to lead, and everytime I have to drop everything just to get you back home after a night of clubbing and drinking till you're drunk, I have to sacrifice some of my time just for you. You don't appreciate it, your dad don't appreciate it, and the only reason i'm always there when you need me is because I still am concerned for your well being. Please don't use what happened as an excuse, its over now and if you're going to continue this way, that will happen again, trust me. I moved on from that nightmare episode and you should too. I feel and understand your pain, take it too far however and there's a thin line which your going to cross one day. I don't know if you're reading this and frankly I don't care. I don't owe anything, ANYTHING at all to you. Its time all of this stopped. Get a proper life girl.......don't do it for me, do it for youself. If anything, try to show yourself some respect. Enough said......

But anyway its going to be christmas soon so MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! And no, I didn't buy presents for anyone. I'm BROKE!

I'll paint it on the walls
Am I the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends........

wings tear my body apart at [3:38 PM]

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

My hands are tied
My mind is blank
My body bruised
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

Its finally over!!! The much dreaded and supposedly toughest stopover for TEP has ended for me! Now its on to the classical then EMRS. My last week in Value Shop was spent mainly on cutting cardboard and decorating the shop with the Value Shop team for the Visual Merchandising competition. The objective for our shop was to actually try and create a cottage celebrating christmas feel. So for people who don't know what those rectangular cardboard slips are, they're actually BRICKS. I know some are unimpressed with the decoration but we work with what we have and so ya, thats the best we can come up with, using lousy scotchtape and having no coloring pencils. Had a real "fun" time trying to put up the decorations inside the shop too. Especially the one at the glass pane connecting Pretty Face to Value Shop. Anyway, the new batch of students for value shop seem uncomfortable at being unable to slack and having to stand up the whole day. Haha, I suffered the same problem when I had to suddenly be posted to Value Shop after all that time in BD. Lucky for me though, I had flexi leave to clear and I managed to MIA for most periods so it wasn't much of a problem for me. So, anyway all the best to the new batch of students for your time in Value Shop.

For those of you who were wondering about the match between my team and Wan Yi's boyfriend team, well, the final result is 4-3 in their favour. I really have to thank Sebastian cause he was the best player on the pitch. Without him, my team would have really suffered even more. It was a.........rough game, tough to play because of the physical nature of the opposition team. It was not really such a good game for us, we couldn't string 3 passes together, had to keep pumping the ball for sebastian and zainal to run for. But kudos overall to my whole team, we showed great spirit to the end, never gave up and even though we didn't attack that well, we defended as a team and managed to frustrate them for most of the time. Give us a bit more time and the team will be a force to be reckoned with. Thanks to Samuel for coming down to play goalkeeper for us too, you were excellent.

Andddddd....................HAPPY BIRTHDAY to both JR and POON!!! I know by now it'll be belated already but still I really wish you both had a happy and excellent birthday. By the way, I am sincerely and deeply sorry to Sean Poon for not wishing him on the day itself cause I'm not the kind that will remember birthdays unless there's a reminder on Friendster or something. If it is any consolation, I don't even remember the exact date of my parent's birthday, I am usually reminded of their birthdays by either my Mum(for my dad's birthday) or my Dad(for my Mum's birthday). So don't take it to heart that I forgot your birthday alrite man? Cheers! All the best in everthing you do man, from studies to gaming to matters of friendship, I wish you much success! Will treat you to lunch someday.
For JR, I really hope you like your present!

Going to end here now..........this week has been very tiring. Sleep late wake up early, running here and there........going to use the weekend to rest. Furthermore I have a soccer match tomorrow with my other team(with my dad and his colleagues).

Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got.......

wings tear my body apart at [10:13 AM]

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What is the truth
What is reality
What can't be removed
Is that part of humanity
See death in those eyes
As the flame dies
Then suddenly arise
Lingering on forever.....