about me
Name: Noah
nickname: Crucifer
Age: 17
From: Singapore
Faves
Music-->Music with heavy rock influences
Books-->Lotr,harry potter,death note,Rave
Tv shows-->Comedies mostly
Game-->Warcraft 3(dota),Command and Conquer
Sport-->Soccer(midfielder)
Color-->Plain classic black
Horoscope-->Scorpio
Explanation
People keep on asking me what my blog address stands for. I have written in a previous entry what this blog address means but as it'll take a long time to locate it, I'll just give a brief explanation here.
Everyone has a dark side, everyone has a good side to them. No one is completely evil nor perfect. So I have characterised this 2 sides of my as crucifer being my dark side and ntljr as my good side. I can't explain how the name Crucifer came about,but its definitely not because of the superband band lucify. Crucifer was a nickname I had for myself for a long time before that. Ntljr basically stands for what every postive feeling, every postitive emotion and quality I have running through me. I have always looked towards "ntljr" as a source of inspiration, and no matter how down I am, I will cling on to that last bit of humanity and hope of "ntljr". This is hard to explain and I doubt anyone will understand as its a matter of emotions and feelings. What ntljr stands for is obvious to but a few, but suffice it to say that it'll always mean something to me. Always.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
This post is not one of my usual posts. It is meant for those who are either deeply confused or trying to hide their true sexual preferences. I have to say, as we move into a new day and age, it is no longer considered a bane to have same sex preferences. It is OK! Really! It doesn't matter if you're gay or not, but what matters is if you keep it within the confines of your own world and not let anybody know. Cause no matter how hard you can try, no matter how well you can act, your instinct will eventually take over and chinks will appear in your armor, and people will then begin to suspect that you're gay(when i mean gay, i mean it for both sexes). Suspicion will turn to fear, fear will turn to anger, anger will lead to unwanted behaviour from family and friends. It is no unacceptable to be gay. No indeed. There is nothing to be ashamed of. No one has the right to judge you for your choice. And no one with a right mind will. So kudos to those who have come up in the open about their choices, it shows great strength and character for them to let others know that they're different. To inspire anyone to finally expose their true sexual preferences instead of hiding it and making everyone suspect and thus be afraid of you. DO NOT forget the golden equation ->suspicion = fear = anger. And who knows, if you come up with the truth, you may find that the person you've been secretly eyeing actually has some feelings for you!
BUT! IF YOU ARE STRAIGHT, THEN ACT LIKE ONE! This poem is for those who are not gay but actually sissies.
A boy will become a man
It doesn't matter when
When boys behave like a gir
lLeaves our minds all in a swirl
It can happen so fast
It may just even last
In the night and in the day
Guys now act so damn gay
In the wonderful fairy tales
True men were brave and strong
In their missions they never failed
And the maidens singed them songs
Some "men" now flinch just at words
They cry at being the joke
But words can't do much fucking hurt
And neither can a little poke
So I hope all men stop being sissies
And don't behave like a missy!!!
In short be like me! LOL =D
wings tear my body apart at [11:22 PM]
_____________
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tonight the music seems so loudI wish that we could lose this crowd Maybe it's better this way We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say 1 week 1 roadshow for the past 3 weeks. How sian is that? Well, at least we're finally done with the final roadshow, the valentine's day roadshow in which we were supposed to sell the stuff that we didn't manage to sell the previous roadshow. Was in charge of the CHEERS booth, total slacking there, to the point of boredom cause if there were no customers, then there would be absolutely nothing to do but sit and literally stare into space. Well, at least this time the sales of the biz focus products were better, much to my great surprise. For honestly speaking, their products are really hard to sell as the soft toys aren't that cute and only the flowers are not too bad. Nonetheless, hopefully this eases the pressure on Li Qin cause the biz focus supplier ain't a easy nut to handle. She's a very fussy prick, I believe. Anyway, applause for both team 2 and my team 3 for over the course of the 3 weeks and 3 roadshows, we all did f***ing well in my opinion. Its time to put on our red underwear soon cause Chinese New Year is just around the corner. That's right, the CNY spirit is in our EMRS right now, and we have already started doing whatmost people do on CNY, and that is gamble. Unfortunately for me, I have never been lucky in gambling and this has already resulted in me losing $18. This amount, small though it may seem to some, is actually quite substantial when you consider that the stakes we play with are only $1, and I'm only playing with 3 other people(Shaun, Khong Chun and Jun Wen). So you can only imagine how unlucky I am to be able to lose $18 in around 45 minutes. Lol, well, maybe its for the best as 8 is considered lucky and by losing $18 then, maybe it is a sign that when CNY really gets underway, I'll be lucky and win back 18 more times what I lost. Don't say that I'm talking rubbishI'm just trying to console myself.Well, its Valentine's day today. A time for love, and all the best to those who have dates and have plans. Do use protection unless, of course, you're trying for a baby. So in that lovey dovey spirit, I will copy and paste an article which I found rather interesting. Its actually old news, but when I first read it, it brought a smile to my face and as its suitable to the theme of love, well, what better time than now to share it."BANGKOK, Thailand (CNN) -- After Thailand's most popular animal couple failed to mate, zoo officials are gearing up for plan B -- a DVD they hope will get Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui in the mood for love.
The pandas' first mating season -- a three-day window -- came last week. Despite a widely-publicized encounter between Chuang Chuang, a 6-year-old male, and 5-year-old Lin Hui, the mating apparently was unsuccessful.
Zoo administrator Prasertsak Puttrakul, who leads a team taking care of the pandas, noted they tend to live in isolation in the wild, and do not witness other pandas mating. "That's why they are bound to extinction should there be no help," he said.
Recent panda reproduction in the United States and Japan stemmed from artificial breeding, he said.
Because of that, Prasertsak has prepared a DVD of pandas having sexual intercourse to show the couple, hoping the demonstration -- call it panda porn* -- will inspire them to make a love connection."
*Shawn->brings a whole new meaning to PP eh? Wish PP to make PP with you?
Note: The pandas are not to be mistaken with a certain Melvin Ho Teng Fung, for it is rather insulting to the panda to be associated with such a enormous cunt like him =D lol. Also, they are not to be confused with Gilbert Wong, for though the panda may look like Gilbert, they have a "live and let live" attitude, never sulk nor do they get emo.Ok, so thats about all I'm going to post for this post. Erm, the next few weeks are going to be incredibly slack for me in EMRS and CNY is going to be nothing special so I doubt I'll be posting anything up for awhile, unless of course, something major happens like if Mr Chan chokes on pineabble tarts and is hospitalized or if Gilbert finally goes for a sex change operation. And for those of you who want my tagboard up, well, I'm a lazy person and when I find the mood then i'll make an effort to put it back up. For now you'll just have to make do with this-->Pushpam: Apa apa don't beat me!Lord Murugam: Ashely worships me. He walks on coals for me.Noah's friends: Knn, emo one more time I chop off your ....Jen: Its not me who wrote that!Ash: I get drunk and beat my wife senseless every night. APA APA! Where's my belt!?Noah: cmy! NT: ................I promise, normal service will soon resume.........lolWe could have been so good together We could have lived this dance forever But now who's gonna dance with me Please stay........So I'm never gonna dance again The way I danced with you
wings tear my body apart at [7:52 PM]
_____________
Sunday, February 11, 2007
I'm not going to make anymore excuses for myself. Its time for me to do something drastic with my extremely serene laid back relaxed attitude towards life. Time to stand up and if nothing else, bang my head against a wall(phrase used metaphorically). Maybe I'll fail in my endeavour, maybe not. It can't be explained what brought about this sudden change in my outlook of life. I think I've realised that I've got something to prove to someone. I'm not going to stand here and wait anymore. Screw those who give me f***. Everyone tolerance has a certain level. I appreciate those who assisted/supported me. I'll repay you in kind if you ever need it. Bringing yourself towards uncertainty, every future step forward is another step leading to some conclusion. A grim conclusion looms, yet remember that no matter what, if all else fails, you know you can rely on me. I'll take you through any tough times you're experiencing, if only you'll let me. Just thought you should know..........what I say may seem unbelievable, given my cold and tough exterior behaviour towards you recently, but suffice it to say that I don't want the strong underlying feelings which I have tried so incredibly hard to suppress to reignite. If only you'll let me.......I dare me to proveI dare you to move........
wings tear my body apart at [1:56 AM]
_____________
Friday, February 02, 2007
Every day I wake up and it's SundayWhatever's in my head won't go awayThe radio is playing all the usualAnd what's a wonderwall anywayIt's good to know that you are still smilingIt's good to know that you are doing wellIt's good to know that you all know I'm hurtingIt's good to know I'm feeling not so wellI went to the Singapore vs Thailand match on Wednesday this week. It was a large turnout for my group of friends, we had around 40-50 people and obviously with so many people, and all coming from different places, there were bound to be some who were late and some who were lost. Getting to the stadium itself was as costly as it was irksome. Each bus we waited for was packed to the max, so some of us decided to cab down to the stadium instead. Cool cab ride, the driver was friendly and talked a lot about soccer. But now on to the match, it was once again a scrappy affair, with both teams not having too many clear cut chances and not stringing too many passes(but thats what you get for asian football). The atmosphere was ok at first, the fans were not that active and the kallang wave failed miserably the first few times it tried to take off. However, all of this changed when a)Singapore scored the 1st goal and b) A penalty given to Singapore was taken by the Thai players as a ominous sign that the end was near, the devil was coming to this earth to claim it for his own where hail and brimstone would soon fall from the skies so they decided to stage a 15min protest about it. Thats when all our feathers were ruffled and the whole stadium bar the thai fans started angry chants over their cowardly and unprofessional behaviour. The loudest and longest and most synchronised chant was where the whole stadium erupted into a steady chant of "F*** You". Well, I was naturally pissed off as well. A soccer fanatic, I have not seen anyone launch a protest over such a trivial matter as a dubious penalty. Protests over crowd trouble, yes. Protests over weather, yes. A SINGLE wrong decision against them and they start to throw a tantrum, UNACCEPTABLE. I shouted till I was almost 0ut of voice, such was my disgust for their antics. Its a total disgrace, to not only their country but to the sport itself, and anyone who condones it ought to have their heads checked for lice in the brain(especially that a**hole cunt of a "Singaporean" who thought it was a remarkable show of unity by the thais to walk off and that the Singapore PLAYERS and FANS were, you're not going to believe this, UNPROFESSIONAL & DISGRACEFUL-->see new paper thurs). Well, enough of this topic.EMRS is ok. The mini roadshow was, slightly boring. Selling Teddy Thotz items are hard, especially when their items are gifts items, meaning its a want, not a need. Still, we managed, somehow to sell $200 over worth of goods in 2 days so well, good job to everyone involved. Next week will be the CNY and Valentine's day roadshow. Alex and I are in charge of the Ripples suppliers. So far, Ameline Soh seems not to trust us that much yet to handle new suppliers and is spoon feeding both of us by calling the supplier and arranging the terms with that Brent guy. Maybe she thinks there's not enough time for us newbies to handle it so she decides to take things into her own hands. Well, its true isn't it. 1 week is hardly enough time for a raw batch of EMRS students to source for suppliers. In fact it barely is enough time for students to settle the finer details of the events, eg the floorplan, the A&P, the stocks etc. Well, anyway, do come and buy something from our roadshow, we have a sales target of 5k over the course of 2 days so it ain't going to be easy. And Now......"A-hem"For those of you who keep on playing with my Tagboard, I would like to tell you all it is not at all appreciated, and that you all can F*** off and mind your own business. Don't try to give me bad reputation, otherwise when people see they think i'm some kind of person whom I'm not. What if CMY sees her name up there? Won't that make any chances I have with her go down the drain? Huh? And using my dad's name, free one issit? Nah bei, go get you own tagboard la!..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Lol, ok for those of you who took what I wrote in that last paragraph seriously, you don't know me all that well. I am not so petty as to bother about what happens on that Tagboard. On the contrary, I am highly amused by whatever nonsensical shit you guys put up there. Its just that the paragraph up there was meant to demostrate the phrase of the month................-->"You've just been emo-ed"!!! Hahaha, has a nice ring to it right? How do you know if you've just been emo-ed? Well, there's no explanation how to know, you'll just know. Ok, I shall not write too much about this topic, or I might be emo-ed too.Ok, will end here now. Its late and I'm yearning for sleep. Today was the team building games(either Li Qin is heavier than she looks or I'm weaker than I think though I am more inclined to the latter) and I played soccer after that so I'm quite tired.
A burned child dreadeth the fire..........Maybe then tomorrow will be MondayAnd whatever's in my head should go awayStill the radio keeps playing all the usualAnd you're still wonderfull anyway.......
wings tear my body apart at [11:16 PM]
_____________