Tag
friends
link1
Sunita,
*Jun Rui,
Safary,
Sabrina,
Jesvin,
Khairul,
Wan Yi,
Kai Boon,
Ahmad,
Jek Yew,
Darius,
Kee Seng(Lex),
Shawn,
Gilbert,
Li Qin,
Arsenal(gunnerblog)!
recent
I am really going to have to put in a bit more eff...
Damn, my big toenail on the right leg is on the ve...
It was a eventful monday today. Didn't go to schoo...
Far Away--------NickelbackThis time, This placeMis...
Ok,this is really bad. I didn't plan to blog but I...
I am getting lazier and lazier. Indeed, 2 weeks in...
School has started, met my new classmates. Yeah, s...
The best way feel better after something that gets...
I LOST I TRIEDBUTI FAILED SICK MIRACLESDOHAPPEN FUCK
How can I stop trying? I don't want to lose you. I...
past
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
credits
about me
Name: Noah
nickname: Crucifer
Age: 17
From: Singapore
Faves
Music-->Music with heavy rock influences
Books-->Lotr,harry potter,death note,Rave
Tv shows-->Comedies mostly
Game-->Warcraft 3(dota),Command and Conquer
Sport-->Soccer(midfielder)
Color-->Plain classic black
Horoscope-->Scorpio
Explanation
People keep on asking me what my blog address stands for. I have written in a previous entry what this blog address means but as it'll take a long time to locate it, I'll just give a brief explanation here.
Everyone has a dark side, everyone has a good side to them. No one is completely evil nor perfect. So I have characterised this 2 sides of my as crucifer being my dark side and ntljr as my good side. I can't explain how the name Crucifer came about,but its definitely not because of the superband band lucify. Crucifer was a nickname I had for myself for a long time before that. Ntljr basically stands for what every postive feeling, every postitive emotion and quality I have running through me. I have always looked towards "ntljr" as a source of inspiration, and no matter how down I am, I will cling on to that last bit of humanity and hope of "ntljr". This is hard to explain and I doubt anyone will understand as its a matter of emotions and feelings. What ntljr stands for is obvious to but a few, but suffice it to say that it'll always mean something to me. Always.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I am so tired of doing projects. Projects left,right,centre........not to mention ICAs, I mean this semester everything is rushed like crazy, week after week assignments need to be handed in, work needs to be revised, tutorials need to be done. Everybody is suffering from this avalanche of workload, its stress stress stress everywhere I look. Even I, a first class slacker(who does good quality work on time), am feeling the heat and pressure. Today's EFMA ICA was totally stupid, I forgot the Journal entries for rights share and bonus shares and this in turn will mess up my total shareholders equity figure which equates to 1/2 the test marks gone. Yes, I know this news will be welcomed by some with open arms(right Ashley Gomez Joel?) but it certainly means I have to buck up for this upcoming business finance test on Friday.
With all these stress and pressure to complete all these assignments and projects, the last thing I need to have is you calling me at 2am in the morning to go you up from Orchard because you're dead drunk. I don't want to have you throw up on me, I don't want to have to pay more than 50 bucks for taxi and I definitely DON'T NEED UNGRATEFUL F*** scolding me at 3am in the morning for doing his daughter a favour. I don't want to see someone I care about change for the worse, I don't need to be reminded of my past actions. I have no idea why I complied to the request of me sending you back home, I guess its just in my nature to do anything I can to help someone I still care about, but I wish you will stop taking advantage of the fact. I'm not at your beck and call, I'm not going to be your safety net everytime you get into trouble, because I have suffered emotionally and mentally for correcting your mistake before and once bitten twice shy. This will probably be the last time I help you if you are in self inflicted trouble. I don't want to hear your explanation, I don't want to hear your apologies, I don't want to hear your reasoning. All I want to see is the old you back, the you before all this bullshit started, the you which I used to have feelings for, the you which was decent and caring and with a conscience, the you who knows what's right and what's wrong, the you who had morals. Stop saying I'm comparing you with Vanessa or Jun Rui, both of them are incomparable. Neither was in a relationship with me, unlike you, so why should I compare you with them? Furthermore Jun Rui never had the slightest feelings for me so I don't understand your reasoning to drag her into this.
My dear, you hurt me when you did what you did, I was hurt when I had to do what I did, seeing you reminded me of all the pain. It didn't help that immediately after that I recieved a email which well, was sent with the best of intentions but after reading it, I was torn inside out, I was numb with guilt.
I can't continue entry.......update some other time
wings tear my body apart at [11:12 PM]